The Mom of No: NOT a candidate

The other day I was hanging out with the Son of Never Stops Eating, and he looked over at me and said, "Mom, you should run for President."

Now, I am absolutely honored that my kid thinks I'd be a good President, but in reality this is a bad idea.  First of all, I'd have to quit my day job to run, and I like my job.  Also, I have no political infrastructure, or money, or even any real interest.  The teenager would be furious if I told her that she had to change schools, and I'm not sure the Secret Service would be too excited about providing protection for a kid in the marching band.  My Band Mom days would be over.  Logistically, I'm not feeling the love.

Also, to be honest, I'm certain that I could never get elected, because the minute I opened my mouth I would be sure to alienate potential voters.  That smooth political talk doesn't come easily to me.  I just don't possess that kind of filter.  I can also envision the commentary that would come along with my first debate:

Commentator #1: Our next candidate, the Mom of No, is taking the podium.
Commentator #2: Is she wearing hiking boots?
Commentator #1:  I think she's tracking mud in on the floor.

I'm also too much of a pragmatist, and I'm way too sarcastic to be a good candidate. For example:

Moderator: Mom of No, what would be your administration's top priority?
Mom of No:  Infrastructure.
Moderator: What about family values?
Mom of No: Well, it's kind of hard to have dinner with the fam if you're stuck in traffic, capisce?

I'd also feel the urge to dispense mom advice to my opponents:

Moderator: What do you say about your opponent's attack on your candidacy?
Mom of No: Instead of saying nasty things about other people, you should worry more about your own business. At your age, you should really know better.

Moderator:  What would you do to help the economy?
Candidate #1:  Well, that's a great question. We really should be talking about the economy, because the economy involves answering some tough questions about how we should be addressing the issue of the economy, and by talking about the economy perhaps we can start having a dialogue about the economy.
Moderator: Mom of No, what is your response?
Mom of No: Maybe he should try again- he didn't answer your actual question.

I'm not sure why my son thinks I'd be a good president; knowing him, he's probably got some ulterior motive in mind like thinking that he wouldn't have to go to school, or as the First Son he'd get unlimited access to Legoland whenever he wanted, or he could have chicken tenders for dinner every night.  I can, however, assure the five people who might actually consider voting for me that I will not be running.  I just can't see the Secret Service agreeing to pull over to the side of the road every time I saw a bird or a mushroom I wanted to look at.  The Mom of No has her priorities straight.