Groceries

The Mom of No has learned a valuable lesson, and it is this:

Do not take teenagers to the grocery store. 

I don't know if anyone else has had the experience of taking a toddler to the grocery store and finding out at checkout that the little darling slipped some Oreos or animal crackers in the basket while you weren't looking, but shopping with teenagers is like that - only on a grander scale. Instead of one package of Oreos, we are talking $100 worth of groceries that will get eaten in two days because teenagers do three things: eat, sleep, and roll their eyes at you.

The Mom of No recently made a quick stop for "just one thing" at the store, but unfortunately for my budget, I had the Son of Never Stops Eating with me.  As I wheeled the buggy around looking for the one thing I was there to get, the conversation starts going like this:

Son: Mom, we need more milk.
Me: No, we don't.  I saw two gallons in the fridge yesterday.
Son:  I drank it all.

Son: Mom, we need more pudding.
Me: No, we don't.  I saw some in the pantry this morning.
Son: I ate it all.

Son: Mom, we're out  of bread.
Me: No, we're not.  We had two loaves yesterday.
Son:  It's all gone. I ate three cheese sandwiches for breakfast.
Me: Are you serious?
Son:  We need more cheese, too.
Me: Is there anything left in the house to eat?
Son: Just yucky stuff no one wants like carrots.

Then I made a bad, bad mistake.  He looked up at me (ok, down at me) with his adorable brown eyes and said, "Can I get some cereal?"

Sure, I said. Go get what you want.  I'm trying to work on life skills with him, and grocery shopping is a life skill. However, he seems to be much better at finding the stuff he likes, as opposed to the food items he doesn't like.   He runs off and comes back with Cap'n Crunch Oops All Berries (don't judge).   The family size, of course.

Finally we go through the checkout line.

The friendly, helpful cashier looks at me and indicates that I owe her an unexpectedly large sum of money, considering that I was only planning on buying one thing. I look at her and say, "This is two days worth of groceries!" She smiles in sympathy and says, "You must have teenagers at home".  The woman in line behind me says "I have four boys.  Be glad you're not me.  I spent $250 yesterday and here I am, again".  Parents of babies bond over sleep deprivation; parents of teenagers bond over groceries.

I am in shock as I fork over payment. Almost $90 for one can of black beans and a few other things?  I get in the car and look at the receipt, half convinced that errors were made.  I didn't buy that much, did I?  Cheese.  Bread.  Milk.  Eggs.  Oreos.  Yogurt.  Bananas (see, there's something healthy!) Black beans (one can).  Cap'n Crunch cereal, $4.99.  Yes, I know.  $5 for a box (family size) of sugary cereal.

It got eaten in two hours.