The Marsh Project Week #23

The outside temperature is now in the mid to high 90's, and since school is about to let out for the summer (and graduation is upon us) it's probably safe to say that summer has arrived.  The Son of Never Stops Eating is, at this moment, furious that Memorial Day weekend has come and gone and there are still seven days of school left.  It is, according to him, a plot by the evil adults to make the kids needlessly suffer.  

The marsh pond is extremely green and full of lily pads.  It's beautiful but it also makes it harder to see birds in the branches and snakes sunning on logs, since the vegetation is so prolific.  Only a few months ago everything was brown and bare, and now everything is a vibrant, bright green.  Dragonflies settle on the lily pads for a few seconds and then take off again, seeking another landing spot.  The birds can be heard in the trees, but it's difficult to pick them out- except for the woodpecker, who keeps returning back to the same spot over and over again.  With his red head and loud pecking, he's easy to find.  

The other day, I was sitting at the high blind drinking water (hydration is essential this time of year) and resting before proceeding on my way.  Other than a great egret and the woodpecker, and several Eastern pondhawk dragonflies, I hadn't seen much.  If there were snakes, they were hiding. Suddenly, a green frog hopped onto the boardwalk and sat there for just as long as it took me to turn the camera on and aim it in the frog's direction, and then he bounced off. I decided to see if I could find him, and after a brief search in the immediate area, I did- he was sitting on one lily pad, partially hidden by another.  If I hadn't seen him hop off the boardwalk, I never would have known he was even there.  

The only reason I saw this frog was because he moved. If he'd already been sitting on the lily pad when I walked by, I would have missed him entirely. 

Today, as I walked up the boardwalk towards the high blind, I saw something that looked a little different on one of the trees- I couldn't quite figure it out, but there was something that wasn't normally there.  After a second of looking at the tree, I figured it out- there was a western rat snake climbing the tree.  He blended in with the bark, but once I saw part of the snake, I saw the entire snake.  He moved slightly toward me, held his position for a few seconds- long enough for some photos- and then slithered off the tree and into the water. 

The snake was another observation I would have missed if I'd just been walking by.  The only reason I noted him was because I saw something different about a tree I look at nearly every day.  It makes me wonder how much stuff I'm missing- what am I walking by, obliviously unaware of its presence?

Green heron, appearing for a brief moment before hiding in the reeds. 

Seen on the trails and around:  Lots of dragonflies- Eastern pondhawks, great blue skimmers, darners, common whitetails, neon skimmer, black saddlebags, red saddlebags.  Butterflies: monarchs, pearl crescents, Eastern tiger swallowtails, viceroys, common buckeyes.  Green heron, little blue herons, great blue herons, cattle egrets, American coots, great egrets, belted kingfisher, northern cardinals, indigo bunting, painted buntings, Carolina chickadee, and one scissor-tailed flycatcher building a nest.  Western rat snake, cottonmouth, broad-banded water snake, plain-bellied water snake.  One raccoon and several armadillos.  

Why Do You Want to Leave Me?

Two weeks from today, the Teenager will be a high school graduate.  Three months from today, she'll be several states away, living in a dorm (sorry, residence hall) and doing college student things like going to the library to study, attending class, drinking a lot of coffee, doing her own laundry, learning how to live with a roommate in a tiny space, eating pizza at 2 AM and otherwise being a (mostly?) responsible young adult (hopefully).

I'll still be here, with the Dad of No and the Son of Never Stops Eating, outnumbered two to one.  When I mentioned this a few days ago, I was informed by the Son of Never Stops Eating that both the family mutt and his hamster are also female, so I really wasn't outnumbered at all; I was still in the majority.  So I'll amend this:  Among the two-legged, English-speaking members of the household, I'll be outnumbered. The Son of Never Stops Eating's focus on all of this seems to be his belief that her room will soon become his LEGO studio.  It has yet to occur to him that her chores will become his chores.

I got a taste of how quiet it will be once she leaves this past weekend, when the Teenager went on her final marching band trip.  Every other year, the band takes an out of state road trip, and this year they were going to the Windy City (side note: I was informed upon the Teenager's return that Chicago isn't really all that windy).  In the past, when I've dropped her off to go on some band trip or church mission trip, or even Girl Scout camp, I was doing a little dance in the car on the way home- one less kid! Mom vacation time! Not that I didn't miss her, because I did, but the Mom life is often easier when the remaining kid has no one to bicker with.  In a week, I'd be picking her up, along with her stinky dirty clothes that almost immediately saturated my vehicle with the aroma of eau de mold, and seeking information about the trip that would get me an eyeroll and a "Mom! Why are you asking me so many questions".

This time, I was aware that this could very well be the last drop-off before the Big Drop-Off in August, the one where we haul all kinds of stuff up to the dorm room, make the bed, hang things up in the closet, meet the roommate, and then give hugs (and final Mom advice) before heading back home.  This next time, it will be months before I see her again.

The Teenager and I are both devotees of that most excellent film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  We've gleaned much useful advice from this film: Windex is an excellent cure-all for whatever ails you, lamb is vegetarian and the word "kimono" has Greek roots.  In an early scene of the movie the main character, Toula, informs her father that she'd like to do something with her life and he responds with "What? Why you want to leave me?" On the way to band drop off, I asked the teenager the same thing, mostly as an attempt at Mom humor.  "Why do you want to leave me?"

Stop it, Mom, she finally said.  I think she was getting a little annoyed.

When I drove out of the parking lot after dropping off the Teenager at the band hall, I could feel myself getting a little weepy.  Just a little bit, but there were some watery eyes.  I knew she'd be home in three days this time around.  It was thinking of the next time around that was making me sad.  I know she wants to go.  I know once I get used to it there will be some advantages: having my fall Friday nights free once more and not running out of milk three days before grocery day.  When I got home, however, the house was much more quiet- and that will take some getting used to.

However, I'm guessing, based on my own college experience that when she does come home, she'll probably bring at least some stinky dirty laundry home with her.  It will be just like old times.

The Marsh Project Week #22

I know that summer is, for all intents and purposes, here.  I know this for several reasons besides the heat.  The stores are starting to put out the Memorial Day/4th of July décor.  The Son of Never Stops Eating is bouncing off the walls with excitement about "No school!". I'm starting to see graduation photos on Facebook. We're in the midst of "the lasts" with the Teenager; the last band concert is tomorrow night. Before I know it, I'll be another proud Mom posting the cap and gown photo on Facebook.  Her childhood went by way too fast, like everyone told me it would.

When I walk down the trail these days, I have a similar feeling- it seemed like summer was so long in coming, and now that it's here, the winter months seem so far away.  Was it ever really so cold out on the trails that my feet felt frozen solid despite wearing two pairs of socks?

The marsh itself is in full summer bloom; the dragonflies are buzzing around consuming insects and each other (they are ethereal and beautiful, but they are also cannibalistic, vicious little creatures).  The snakes are coming out to bask in the morning; I'm checking all the usual snake spots looking to see who's out enjoying the sun.  Except for the occasional mallard or American coot, the waterfowl seem to be gone, although I did manage to sneak up on one blue-winged teal pair this week and get one photo. They were surrounded by egrets, both great and snowy, and perhaps a juvenile little blue heron or two.  When the egrets sensed my approach they took off en masse but the teals seemed content to stick it out for a few minutes before they decided that they, too, should relocate somewhere untainted by human presence.

Flowers are blooming, too; in the past two weeks the wildflowers have started really showing up, along with the butterflies perching on the blooms.  I love them all but the monarch butterflies are among my favorites.

I'm always astonished at the myriad varieties of dragonflies I can see on my hikes.  This time of year, the common whitetails and Eastern pondhawks are everywhere; the green, black and white of the Eastern pondhawk standing out and blending in with the green vegetation at the same time.  I also see Halloween pennants, with their orange and black markings; the red saddlebags dragonfly- all red; the black saddlebags dragonfly- all black; the jade clubtail- green with brownish-red at the end of its abdomen.  Of course, the males don't always have the same appearance as the female of the species, and sometimes the immature dragonflies look different than the mature.  Like many things in life; learning to ID dragonflies is an ongoing effort.

Seen on the trail: Painted bunting, indigo bunting, black vultures, Northern cardinals, scissor-tailed flycatchers, great egret, little blue heron, great blue heron, snowy egret, dickcissel, monarch butterfly, hackberry emperor butterfly, question mark butterfly, Gulf fritillary, Eastern Tiger Swallowtail, Delaware skipper butterfly, funereal duskywing butterfly, dragonflies including jade clubtail, Regal darner, variegated meadowhawk, red saddlebags, black saddlebags, Halloween Pennant, snakes, including broad-banded water snake, cottonmouth, plain-bellied watersnake, red-eared sliders, and skinks.

The Marsh Project Week #21

This is actually Week 21 and 22, but to stay consistent, I'm calling it Week #21.  Just a few weeks ago, we were still having cold spells and now it's getting hot. Not middle of summer hot, not yet, but on Saturday I drained an entire 32 oz. Nalgene bottle while on the trails, then had to stop at my favorite gas station for a huge iced tea on the way home.   My nature nerd tan is clearly visible- tan forearms and raccoon eyes from the sunglasses- and today, burned earlobes. I didn't realize they were burned until I made some Mother's Day phone calls, and it was ouch! ouch! ouch!

The painted buntings and indigo buntings have made their presence known on a portion of the trail; my second male painted bunting sighting of the season occurred when one jumped out from some ground vegetation right in front of me and then proceeded to sit in some branches while I tried, mostly in vain, to get an award winning painted bunting photo.  In the end, it was good enough for ID.  About five minutes later, an indigo bunting did the same thing to me.  It was a good birding day.

Earlier this week I accompanied my son's class on a field trip out to the trails, and we saw three snakes- a cottonmouth, a broad-banded water snake, and a western ribbon snake.  Today, the nature gods decided to give me a special Mother's day gift and I saw five snakes- two plain-bellied water snakes and three diamondback water snakes.  I'm seeing frogs- mostly the adorable little green tree frogs- and hearing the occasional American bullfrog.

The dragonflies are out in ever increasing variety.  I'm starting to see more of the jade clubtails, plenty of the plains clubtails and the ever present common whitetails and eastern pondhawks- but this week I saw three Cyrano darners.  The first one I saw I couldn't tell what it was, and I balanced precariously on the edge of the boardwalk attempting to get a clear enough photo for an ID.  I'm still not seeing the same amount of butterflies as I have in the past;  I'm hoping that their numbers pick up.  Every time I walk, I do see a few viceroy butterflies; always in the same spot, so maybe I'm seeing the same butterflies every day.

At the blind, a red-bellied woodpecker has laid claim to a tree, and he is there every day I'm there, pecking away and making his presence known.  He climbs in and out of a hole in the tree, perches on top of the tree, and then maneuvers all around the tree. Sometimes he flies off, only to return.  Periodically there is another woodpecker there as well; I can't tell if this other woodpecker is a male or female.

Seen on the trails: green tree frogs, southern leopard frogs, bullfrog (heard), skinks, fishing spiders, painted buntings, indigo buntings, dickcissel, little blue herons, kingfisher, great blue heron, great egret, mallards, American coot, Western kingbird, Northern cardinal, red-bellied woodpecker, dragonflies (roseate skimmer, band-winged dragonlet, Eastern pondhawk, Cyrano darner, red saddlebags, black saddlebags, plains clubtails, jade clubtails, common whitetails), broad-banded water snakes, diamond back watersnakes, western rat snake, western ribbon snake, plain-bellied water snake.  Butterflies: viceroy, common buckeye, goatweed leafwing, Eastern comma, question mark, black swallowtail.

Driving

Graduation is now almost upon us.  We're in the midst of the "lasts"- the AP exams, the final band concert, the final full month of school.  The banquets and the award ceremonies are underway. Prom has come and gone. The cap and gown are stashed in the closet, ready for the Big Day. The graduation announcements have been sent out.  Festivities are being planned. Every day I am reminded that the Teenager is on a fast train towards adulthood and independence, and that train is speeding up every day. 

I like to think that I'm not a hovering mother; that I'm one of these laid back, whatever happens, I'm cool kind of parents, but I'm not, really.  Sometimes I really need to hover, to make sure that my baby girl is safe and everything is good.  It's hard for my brain to wrap its way around the idea that my hovering Mom days are coming to an end.  In a few months she'll be several hundred miles away.  It feels like she just came home for the first time, dressed in a Winnie-the-Pooh onesie and swaddled in a baby blankie with ducks on it. I don't want her to leave; it feels like she just got here. 

Yet I know it's time for her to go; it's time to fly out of the nest and see where the wind takes her. 

About a week ago, she passed her driving test and obtained a drivers license. A few days later she wanted to drive the car to Starbucks to study, so she asked the Dad of No for the use of his vehicle.  He handed over the keys, she got in the driver's seat, and we stood out in the alley behind our house to watch her take her inaugural solo drive. 

I'm going to follow her there, I told him, after she'd left. Just to make sure she's okay. 

No, you're not, he replied. 

You'll probably be relieved to know that I didn't.  However, the temptation was strong.  I had an overwhelming maternal urge to make sure everything went smoothly, that my baby girl arrived safely at her destination, that no crazy driver got in her way.  I also knew, however, that if she found out- and she would- she'd probably be mad.  The Dad of No was right; I did not need to follow her.  I went back in the house, put my car keys away, and started uploading observations into my iNaturalist account. I might have checked my phone a few times. Just in case. I admit, I was relieved when she arrived back home, safely, a few hours later.  

The Teenager has always had an independent streak.  When I sent her to sleepaway Girl Scout camp, one of the questions on the form was "What are some things we can do if your Girl Scout becomes homesick?". I didn't know how to answer the question.  She insisted up until the moment of departure that she wouldn't miss us, not one bit.  She would especially not miss her brother. She couldn't wait to get away from him.  I don't get homesick, she told me.  Sorry, mom.  I love you, but I don't miss you. 

Two days into camp the phone rang. It was the Girl Scout camp. 

I was sure that they were calling because she was sad, and she missed us.  The nice lady on the other end of the phone, however, had a different tale to tell. Apparently the Teenager had used up all her camp cash on slushy drinks and candy and was out of money and the camp wanted to know if I wanted to make an extra deposit into her account so that she could buy more "snacks". She wasn't homesick at all.  She was too busy drinking Slushees. 

At least, I told myself, while thinking about how fast the next three months are going to go, the Son of Never Stops Eating will be around for awhile.  The nest isn't completely empty yet.  This thought consoled me until the next day, when the Son of Never Stops Eating mentioned that he wanted to get a driver's license too, because he didn't want to ride the bus to school anymore.  He's sprouting his own wings. 

And so the adventures continue...I definitely will not be following the Teenager to college, but I will be hoping she texts me every now and then, just to check in- because I'm still Mom, and I will still worry.