I believe in teaching kids that life isn't always fair. Sometimes the world is a harsh place. For example, when the teenager was much younger, she'd saved up her pennies to buy some toy at Target. When we went to buy it, she saw that she had just enough money. She was so excited until I had to break it to her that she actually didn't have enough money because of sales tax. That is SO UNFAIR! she yelled. Kids shouldn't have to pay tax! We're just kids!
Well, welcome to the real world, kid. Suck it up, buttercup.
That was probably the same year that I broke it to them that there was also a Candy Tax. It comes due every Halloween, right after Trick or Treat is over. They come home, dump out the loot on the kitchen table, and I go through the candy and pick out all the banana flavored Laffy Taffy and the Three Musketeers bars.
At first, there was resistance to the Candy Tax. It was pointed out that it was their candy, and they worked for it, while I just stood on the sidewalk yelling at them to remember to say "Thank you!'. My daughter, who has an outstanding future as a trial lawyer, told me that I could go buy my own candy instead of taking theirs, since I had a car and money. Finally, I pulled out that ancient but still effective and true parental debate-ender: you live in my house- you pay the Candy Tax.
Unfortunately for me, however, the Candy Tax has a fatal flaw: the taxpayers grow up. This year, the Candy Tax will yield half the revenue it usually does, because I have only one trick-or-treater. The teenager has a band contest. In a few years, there may be no more Candy Tax. If I want banana flavored Laffy Taffy, I will have to go buy my own.
And that really is a sad story.
Happy Halloween and be safe!
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