Toddlers vs Teenagers

Every now and then someone will say to me, "toddlers are just like teenagers, only smaller", or "teenagers are just like toddlers, except with a bigger vocabulary", or something similar.  I've had toddlers and now I have teenagers, so I can say that there are similarities but there are also differences. For your enlightenment,  I've made a handy list for reference.

Family Finances:
Toddlers:  You spend all your money on daycare.
Teenagers: You spend all your money on car insurance.

Food:
Toddlers eat all the cheese cubes and graham crackers.
Teenagers eat anything that isn't hidden in the attic.

Fun:
Toddlers: Let's go to the zoo!
Teenagers: Can you take us to the mall? And drop us off and go somewhere else?

Sleep:
Toddlers: Get cranky if they don't get enough sleep.
Teenagers: Get cranky if they don't get enough sleep.

Vocabulary development:
Toddlers say "NO!" to everything.
Teenagers say "What-ever!" to everything, and toss in an eye roll for extra emphasis.

Communication Skills:
Toddlers:  Half the time, you're not sure what your toddler is talking about.
Teenagers: Half the time, you're not sure what your teenager is talking about.

Mother to Mother:
Mothers of toddlers: Comparing notes on when their children reach milestones.
Mothers of teenagers:  Comparing notes about peri-menopause.

Hot Debates:
Mothers of toddlers: Stay at Home vs. Working Moms
Mothers of teenagers: Too busy wondering who ate the secret chocolate stash to debate anything.

Social Skills:
Toddlers: play dates
Teenagers: real dates

Obsession that drives parents crazy:
Toddlers: Elmo
Teenagers:  Fandom phases*

New Year's Eve
Toddlers: You desperately need a babysitter.
Teenagers: Desperate parents of toddlers are involved in a bidding war for your teenager's babysitting services.  Your plan is to go to bed at 10 PM.

Loveys:
Toddlers: Their favorite blankie or teddy bear.
Teenagers: Their mobile device.

Leaving the House:
Toddlers:  making sure that you have the stroller, the diaper bag, the lovey, extra snacks, and a video for long trips.
Teenagers: making sure that all the technology is charged and everyone has their headphones.

The Automobile:
Toddlers: The car always smells like stale Chicken McNuggets.
Teenagers: The gas tank is always mysteriously empty.

Commiseration with friends:
Toddlers: I don't think he/she will ever be potty trained.
Teenagers:  I don't think I can go in her/his bedroom without biohazard gear on.

Thinking about the Future:
Toddlers: You're nervous about your little darling starting kindergarten.
Teenagers: You're nervous about paying for college.

*At the risk of appearing uncool, The Mom of No isn't sure what that is. It was the teenager's contribution to this list.
Teenager Note (TN):a fandom is a  movie series, TV show, anime, book series, or music that has some sort of following or franchise. Popular fandoms are Harry Potter, Fall Out Boy, Doctor Who and various animes like Attack On Titan. Toddlers will also be guilty of this, being into transformers one week and pirates the next.