This morning, I went looking in my e-mail spam folder in pursuit of a potentially lost e-mail. Usually I just delete all those e-mails, sight unseen, but after perusing them this morning, I think I am losing out on some real opportunities for self-improvement and financial gain. The spam folder is full of resources to meet any challenge!
Love life difficulties? According to my spam folder, a woman named "Tara" can help you find love. If Tara can't help you out, maybe JDate can. Christian Mingle has pictures of "ChristianMingle Singles" for your perusal- I have no idea if the rhyming is intentional, but it's stuck in my head. If you don't really have a religious preference for a potential life companion, you can become an eHarmony partner. Like borscht? Natasha the Russian Bride is looking for a groom. If you have already found the love of your life, but need flowers, Holiday Flowers is ready to come to the rescue. If you're not sure the love of your life is true to you, wireless cameras can help you with some surveillance.
Having financial difficulties or looking to make some big bucks easy and fast? Apparently the President is giving homes away free if you are a veteran. If you need toilet paper coupons, your credit boosted, technical job training, a brand new SUV with a low interest loan, or a credit card with easy terms, someone is ready to help you out. I don't know about your household, but we can always use toilet paper. I might have to check that one out. If money isn't actually a problem for you, and you'd like a private jet to tour the world, all you need is a private jet charter. If you can actually afford a private jet, do you really need to rely on spam to find one? About halfway down the list, I was excited to find out that I had won a Kohl's gift card for $500! With two growing adolescents in my household, I can definitely use that!
I also noticed that someone named Chris is desperately trying to get in touch with me with an important message. Chris has sent several e-mails, so it must be important. I wonder what it could be about?
Suffice it to say that if you have health or beauty woes, someone is out there in Spamland ready to help you out. Incontinence diapers? Got those. Mesothelioma? Attorneys are looking for you to help with a class action lawsuit. You can get your skin cleansed, find weight loss products, and locate a breast augmentation surgeon. If toenail fungus is your problem, no worries- contact the right person and it can be removed without pills. A provider who can't spell wants to offer you a "gstricbypss"- I'm assuming that means "gastric bypass". I'd personally feel better going with a surgeon who knew how to spell the procedure he or she is about to perform on me, so I think I'll pass on that one. I'll also have to pass on the dental implants; even the idea of having dental work done sends me over the edge.
No life challenge will go unmet if you simply rely on your spam folder. Degree programs? Lots of those- although they must be small, exclusive schools because I've never heard of them. Cheap car insurance is easy to find, although I have no idea how easy to find they'll be if you actually need to file a claim. You can get solar panels, sea sickness cures, discount oil change coupons, pet insurance, home warranties, windshield replacements, IRS forgiveness- apparently they have forgiven millions, and would like to extend the offer to you- senior living apartment location assistance, anti-virus software, and help determining whether cremation is right for you.
I plan to delete all of these (except the toilet paper coupons) as soon as I complete typing- fortunately, I am not currently having issues with toenail fungus and I'm satisfied with my automobile insurance. I'd offer to pass this information along to anyone else who needs it, but I suspect that you probably already have the same offers; all you need to do is check your spam folder.
No comments:
Post a Comment