Cheese

The other day someone was asking me if I had any household rules, and what they were.  I do have one rule, which is indisputable and unbreakable.  The rule is this:

You can never have too much cheese.

I know that many people consider bacon to be not only an indispensable ingredient in cooking but the very nectar of the gods. However, bacon cannot compare to cheese.  I know you bacon lovers out there may be gasping in agony and screaming "Heresy!", but I will not apologize. Bacon is okay.  It has its uses. I don't have anything against bacon. But cheese....wow. You can just never have too much cheese.

We are such big fans of cheese, we get a thank-you card every year from the state of Wisconsin.  Apparently, our household is one of their best customers.
 
The offspring don't seem to have any difficulty complying with this rule.  No cheese is safe in our house.  The other day the Dad of No went to the grocery store and brought home a two pound bag of mozzarella cheese.  The next day, the bag was mysteriously empty.  American cheese slices seem to have a shelf life of about 2 hours.  Cheddar?  Forget keeping that around; within minutes of it being placed in the cheese drawer someone will come sniffing around the kitchen, asking if they smell cheddar, and that's the end of it right there.  My family members seem to have some innate cheese sensory alert system that lets them know that the cheese drawer has been restocked.

The Son of Never Stops Eating loves lasagna.  More accurately, I should say he loves the cheese on the lasagna.  A few months ago, I was making lasagna for dinner and he started lurking around the kitchen, eyeing the kitchen counter.

Me: What are you doing?
Son: Looking at that lasagna.
Me:  Doesn't it look delicious?
Son: I think it needs more cheese.
Me:  I put two pounds of mozzarella in it.
Son: That's not enough.

In our house, cheese gets piled on almost everything except maybe ice cream, which doesn't need embellishment of any kind except hot fudge topping.  Baked potatoes? Cheese.  Steamed broccoli?  Cheese .  Spaghetti and meatballs? Cheese, cheese, cheese! Grilled cheese sandwiches? Yes, please! The gooier the better. Nearly every favorite I can think of involves cheese.  Macaroni and cheese.  Broccoli cheese soup. Omelets with cheese. Greek salad with feta cheese.  Whatever is for dinner, it requires cheese. 

So now that I am thinking about it, the cheese rule may not be what the original question was about.  They were probably asking about curfew rules, or chores, or when the kids did their homework kind of rules.  I have some of those rules also, although I am not big on lots of rules, because it is too much for my peri-menopausal brain to keep track of.  But I will not ever forget that in my house, you can never, ever, have too much cheese*.

*Fortunately, none of us are lactose-intolerant. If we were, the dairy industry in this country would be in big trouble.