The Struggle is Real

The big Facebook news of the week is that Starbucks is at war with Christmas because their cups are red but not imprinted with anything -just red.  Who comes up with this stuff? (don't answer- that was a rhetorical question).  Right now, at this very minute, I am drinking coffee from a white styrofoam cup. I am a sinner.

Plenty of people have written great stuff on this "War on Christmas", so I'm not going there. The Mom of No has no time for any War on Christmas.  I have a different holiday-related problem: The War on Getting Stressed Out About Christmas.  Actually, it's not really a war- it's more like an ongoing struggle.  It is the Struggle Against Christmas Related Self-Induced Stress.

One of the biggest problems is that  Christmas comes at the end of the year, and a lot of things have to be done at the end of the year.  All the health insurance deductibles have been met. So every family member gets to go to the eye doctor! the dermatologist! The dentist! And everyone else is doing the same thing, so you're competing against everyone else in America who has met their deductibles at a time of the year that all the doctors are taking off work because it's Christmas. Nothing says holiday cheer like an eye doctor appointment (at least they don't weigh you).

Another point of stress is the famous "last minute offspring need".  Say, just as an example- not saying this happened in my household, it's just an example- a certain individual needs a black dress to wear to a school event.  You cannot buy a black dress while speed shopping.  Well, you can, but you'll probably end up returning it to the store- and the only Christmas shopping activity more stressful than buying something is returning something. 

Then of course there's the stuff that we're all familiar with - the decorating, and the baking, and the shopping, because we all know that this is really "Mom" stuff (although in our household the Dad of No puts up the tree; if it were up to me, I would never get around to it).  I decided a few years ago to stop sending cards because nearly everyone I send a card to is also my friend on Facebook, but people keep sending me cards so then I feel slightly guilty about the not sending cards thing, because obviously if they have time to do it, then I should have time to do it.

Every year I think that this will be the year we show up at Christmas Eve services with everyone's hair freshly cut (never happens) with new outfits (doesn't happen), and I will have glorious baskets of freshly baked cookies to pass out to everyone I know (doesn't happen) from the Christmas cookie exchange I keep saying I'm going to organize (very likely won't happen this year either).  All my shopping will be done before Thanksgiving, online (definitely doesn't happen) to free up December for fun holiday events (sitting in the dermatologist's waiting room).

Every year I say that I'm not going to get stressed out about Christmas. I'm going to be zen and I'm going to work out and maintain my weight, and not eat too much.  And every year I get stressed out anyway, and I find myself in the woods doing my primal stressed out holiday scream.  I don't need a red coffee cup with Christmas symbols on it.  I need a red coffee cup with an adult beverage in it.