Frustration

Since last Friday, I've been following the news on the Paris attacks, and watching the fallout on Facebook. Looking at Facebook is like watching a car accident on the opposite side of the highway- you know you should pay attention to your own driving, but your neck moves on its own to look.  It takes me awhile to absorb events like Paris, because I tend to see the world as one big connected ecosystem  and because of that, nothing is ever as simple as it looks at the start. 

I'm old enough to remember, as an adult, at least three events that made the world- or at least my part of it- come to a standstill:  the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995, 9/11, and the Paris attacks.  In 1995 and 2001, social media wasn't a thing; people still got their news from TV and newspapers and if you wanted conspiracy theories you listened to talk radio.  Now, of course, you can just log on to Facebook and look at your newsfeed. Based on some of the stuff I've seen, that might actually be a step backwards for civilization.

I've read quite a few posts and online articles related to the Paris attacks.  I've read much that is inspirational, and I've also seen the events of the last few days turned into the opportunity to take a political stand of one kind or another.  The Mom of No is no theological or political guru- those are all outside my area of expertise, and I just don't see myself as an inspirational writer. What I'm left with- besides the feeling of utter pain for the people of Paris- is feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

In 1995, 2001, and now, in 2015, evil people did evil things.  As a parent, I feel that I should be able to offer insights into events like this to my offspring- it's easier when they are younger; what they really want to know then is "will I be safe?".  With teenagers, it seems that more insight is required, and I feel inadequately prepared for the task.  Evil people have done something evil.  The world contains good, and the world contains evil.  We can and should combat evil by doing good at every opportunity- but from the beginning of time until the end of time there will be evil, and usually it will defy a satisfactory explanation. The best I can offer is what I'm often telling the Son of Never Stops Eating: you cannot control what other people do; you can only control your response to their actions. 

It's frustrating to look at Facebook, or other media, and see how quickly discussion disintegrates into paranoia, finger-pointing, name-calling, and  political posturing.  I don't think anyone really changes their mind about an issue because of a Facebook meme; those really appeal to people who already think that anyway (although some of them are very clever).  For people who are convinced that they know how to resolve a significant problem, and that the solution is simple, and that anyone who does not see it exactly the way that they do should be immediately branded as (insert derogatory name-calling here) and dismissed, social media is their playground.  Some people are exquisitely skilled at responding to them; I feel quite inadequate to the task and that frustrates me too.

Every issue seems to have become an "all or nothing" line drawn in the digital sand- either you think exactly like me, or you are completely against me.  50 years from now, when I'm in the Retirement Home for Mean Mothers, I wonder what I'll be telling my great-grandchildren about our reactions to these events.  I honestly hope it's not "we had chances to get our crap together, and we totally screwed it up for you"- but that may be exactly what I'm telling them.