Chores

You know how sometimes people "humblebrag" about their kids, as in "Oh, such a hard day! I had to take little Susie to her Olympic equestrian tryouts, followed by her advanced Chinese lessons, and then we had to dash down to her cello audition because she might be the youngest member ever of the big city orchestra- sometimes I wish we were just a normal family and I wasn't in the car so much! Sigh!" What I am about to say is the exact opposite of humblebragging.  It is a honest admission of maternal inadequacy.

My kids are woefully unprepared to go off on their own.  I say this because I have been remiss in teaching them the basics.  I'm talking about functional life skills here.  Skills like cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of your stuff.  Shopping- not the fun kind, like for a kayak or for books, but for clothes, or groceries, or appliances. Honestly, I'm kind of a type-A perfectionist and I like things done a specific way, and often it's just easier to do it myself.  Also, whenever there's a mess and I ask the kids about it, they blame each other, or start trying to one-up each other on who has more chores.

Me: Who left toothpaste all over the counter in the bathroom?
Kids: He/She did it! (pointing at each other)
Me: Well, someone needs to go clean it up.
Son: Well, I have to feed the dog.
Daughter: Well, I have to unload the dishwasher! And do clarinet practice!

Recently our dishwasher broke, so right now dishes in our household are being washed the old fashioned way, by hand.  At first it was like camping! It was fun! Family bonding time happened! But as the days wore on, I noticed that more and more, the dishes were getting left by the sink.  One morning, I asked my son about it.

Me: Why are these dirty dishes still on the counter?
Son:  I dunno.
Me: What, is everyone waiting for the dish fairy to come do them?
Son:  Probably!

This morning I was folding sheets, and I realized I should probably teach this skill to my teenager. (disclaimer: The Mom of No did not learn how to fold a fitted sheet until I was 40. Thank you, YouTube!).  So I called her over.

Me:  I'm going to show you how to fold a fitted sheet.
Teenager:  Why do I need to know that?
Me: So that you can keep your sheets folded neatly in a drawer or closet.
Teenager:  What if I don't care if they're neatly folded?

I really need to do a better job of getting these kids to do more for themselves.  One will be leaving for college in 2.5 years, and I don't really want her roommate thinking, "wow, doesn't she know how to do anything?' It's hard for me to give someone else a task and then not want to take over when I see that it's not the way I would do it.  However, when she moves into her dorm, I won't be there to supervise.  She will be on her own.

The teenager does know how to bake, and she's good at it.  At least baking is one of those skills you can barter with.  If you can provide delicious baked goods, you are welcome almost anywhere.  But her college roommate may not want her tossing her clean clothes all over the floor, or leaving toothpase on the countertop in the suite bathroom.  Clearly,  I have some work ahead of me.  Watch out, kids.