Decluttering

This is the time of year where the Mom of No casts her eyes upon her abode and vows to undertake a massive cleanout.  Nothing is to be held back.  For some reason, the combination of a just-past birthday and the upcoming holiday season sets off an alarm in the Mom of No's brain that screams "DECLUTTER! DECLUTTER!".  It is an urge that cannot be resisted.

The problem is that decluttering and organizing is one of those projects that sound really good in theory, but often falls apart in execution. Every so often I go to The Container Store and walk around in a dream trance, imagining just how wonderfully amazing my life would be if I could just teleport the Container Store into my house.  Throughout the year I read articles on Facebook that urge me to get rid of anything that doesn't bring me joy, or anything that is plastic, or anything that hasn't seen the light of day in a year.  These sites all make it sound so easy, but it's all lies! It's like trying to decorate a cake from a picture on Pinterest- easy for them, not easy for me.

As soon as I start, I run into difficulties.  I get the premise of decluttering.  If you use it, keep it.  If you don't use it, get rid of it.  However, I just can't bear to part with items I no longer use but still have attachments to, like two giant Raggedy Ann/Andy dolls that were mine when I was a child, or a truly awful cactus drawing I did in middle school that my father returned to me a few years ago.

Another difficulty I encounter can be summed up in one word: teenagers.  Teenagers seem to acquire T-shirts just by existing.  When the teenager was younger, she'd head off to Girl Scout camp and I'd suit up in my biohazard gear and venture into her room to bag up hundreds of Happy Meal toys and get them out of the house. T-shirts are like the Happy Meal toys of adolescence.

I don't consider myself a pack rat.  I'm not a hoarder. I have no problems getting rid of things that don't fit, or that I don't like, or that are clearly past their useful lifespan.  But by this point, I've cleared out all the low-hanging fruit.  Books are a real challenge.  I live in a small house.  I don't have a lot of room for books.  Books should be passed around from friend to friend, to enjoy.  However, I bond with my books. I can't bear to bid them adieu, even if I know they're headed to a good home.

I also have a hard time getting rid of anything that might potentially have use at some future time, because that mantra of "use it up, make it do, or do without" keeps playing in my head.  A giant bottle of Sriracha sauce with unknown purchase date? It might still be good.  A bottle of lotion that smells overpoweringly like gardenias? Well, if the zombie apocalypse happens, I might want that to disguise my human odor and slip past the zombie horde (the Mom of No loves The Walking Dead).  Sewing patterns for vests that were in style in 1995?  You never know! After all, the 80's are "in" again!

What I end up telling myself is that I'm just going to stop buying stuff, and eventually everything we own will just get used up and the house will declutter itself by attrition of belongings.  If you're reading this, and you think that's a great idea- I'll just tell you this: that technique doesn't work either.