Disagreement

Now that it's 2016, we all have something exciting to look forward to.  I know what you're thinking: the release of the next Game of Thrones book!  Well, yes, but that wasn't what I had in mind.  Ok, the next season of The Walking Dead! Well, yes, that too...but I was actually thinking about an event that's just as convoluted and scary, but takes place in the real world: the Presidential election.  It promises to be great fun times, with plenty of lively, civilized debate among friends and fellow citizens.  Or, more likely, it promises to be the year of unfollowing/defriending/blocking people on Facebook.  I'm really hoping that we can get to November 9, 2016 without the entire population of the United States engaging in one enormous silent treatment of everyone else or imploding in some Stephen King-worthy epic moment.

When the Mom of No was a young'un, information came from three channels on the TV and the newspaper. Now, there are seemingly unlimited sources of information available and a considerable amount of it is bad. Many political/social issues arguments end up with one person linking to an extremely conservative source, another linking to an extremely liberal source, and both of them claiming that their information is exactly right even though all of it is extraordinarily slanted. If you have more than one kid, you know from listening to tattle-telling siblings that the truth is often somewhere in between, vital information is often left out of the telling, and that information is often presented in a way that casts one side in a better light. 

We have almost lost the skill of respectful civilized disagreement.  If you doubt me, go on social media and pick a controversial topic- or even a non-controversial one.  Even an innocuous original post like "tell me a good place to get a mani/pedi" can erupt into flames- like a science experiment gone wildly wrong- under the right conditions.

One common response to a disagreement is claiming that people should stop being so easily offended.  It often goes like this:

Person #1: makes statement about issue
Person #2: makes contradictory statement about issue
Person #1: People need to quit being so offended about everything all the time.

However, disagreeing with someone is not the same as being offended by what they say. A related response is to insult the person who disagrees by referring to them in some derogatory way. One of my favorites is the word "sheeple":

Person #1: makes statement about isse
Person #2: makes contradictory statement about issue
Person #1: Well, just go on with the rest of the sheeple and stick your head in the sand.

Another response is to invoke the right to freedom of speech.  People are generally free to say what they want to say.  However, that doesn't give people the right to not be contradicted. It doesn't exempt anyone from being called out on bad information.   You have the right to say it; I have the right to disagree with it. 

The Mom of No learned once in a communications seminar that in group discussions, there are often some people who will just not change their minds on an issue.  We probably all have at least one belief that we aren't going to change, no matter what. I know that I have a few. Sometimes it's better to recognize that no matter what you say or how you say it,  you're in virtual quicksand and you should escape ASAP.  Walk away, roll your eyes if you must, although if the person is standing in front of you,  just roll your eyes in your mind. Any teenager can help you with that skill, if you need help.  And good luck over the next year.