December is here, so that means that Christmas preparations are in full swing. Cookies are being baked; trees are being decorated; presents are being bought; cards are being sent; festivities are being planned and executed; carols are being sung; Santa is reading petitions from hopeful children; lights are being installed on houses all over the neighborhoods, along with all sorts of festive yard décor.
The Dad of No put up the exterior lights. I've made three pans of pumpkin spice fudge (yes, that is a real thing, don't judge, it's delicious). The Son of Never Stops Eating and I saw a Christmas parade. I spent an hour with my friend Amazon.com, shopping. That's my entire list of holiday-related accomplishments to this point.
The older the Mom of No gets, the more of a Christmas slacker I become. It's been years since I've sent out Christmas cards- almost everyone I'd send a Christmas card to is on Facebook and our lives just aren't exciting enough to merit writing a Christmas letter. If I did, it would probably be like this:
"Dear friends and relatives: we're still here. Same house, same cars, same job, one graduates from high school this year, the other swims and eats. We went to the beach last summer. The big thrill in our lives was that we had new duct work installed in our attic before the summer heat hit. Have a merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!"
It's not that I don't like Christmas or that I'm anti-festivities; please don't send me any hate mail about the "War on Christmas". I'm just not very motivated when it comes to decorating, or gift wrapping with homemade wrapping paper, or baking cookies from recipes that are four pages long, or decorating my house with a different Christmas theme every year. I feel accomplished once the tree is up and all the ornaments are on it. In terms of Christmas decorating, my bar is set pretty darn low.
One of the great things about having teenagers as opposed to small kids is that teenagers generally do not want their pictures taken with Santa Claus, which is good because it means I don't have to go seek out a Santa Claus at the mall and then wait in line for hours just to find out that the kid has a heart's desire Christmas wish that I knew nothing about. I learned the Santa Claus at the Mall lesson a long time ago with the Teenager, who as a toddler insisted on seeing Santa then chickened out when it was her turn, so we left without actually talking to the Big Guy, then when we got to the car said "Mommy, I think I want to see Santa now". I was extremely pregnant at the time, and the occupant of my uterus was being the Son of Let's Kick Mommy's Bladder For Fun! so there was no way I was getting back into that line. I was the Mom of Extremely Annoyed. Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!
Actually, one of my Christmas goals is to not go to the mall at all, under any circumstances. I know that's part of the holiday experience with the festive décor and the music, but thanks to the internet, I can get the gifts purchased while sitting in the quiet of my own home, and I don't have to fight to get a parking space within walking distance of the mall or wait in line behind people who have complicated transactions. Another great thing about teenagers: both of mine wanted cash and gift cards, which are readily attainable. No more chasing down the must-have but hard to find Santa Claus gift.
I see photos of other peoples' festive crafts and décor and baking and wrapping, and I admire their work, but given a choice between spending Sunday afternoon lounging around on the sofa reading a book and decorating a gingerbread house with tiny little candies or handcrafting Christmas gift tags, I'd pick the book every time. I refuse to feel any guilt about this. I bought a bag of gingerbread cookies -decorated, even! and if anyone wants any gingerbread, they can have one of those cookies.
Christmas is high-pressure time, especially if you're female, and it's doubly high-pressure time if you're a mom. All that stuff people expect, that's all woman stuff (except hanging up the lights outside the house; it's acceptable to delegate that to male members of the household). All that decorating and gift buying and baking and organizing people to go places and do things takes a lot of energy, and it is all very time-sensitive. If you enjoy doing those activities, then you should do them, and you should post photos of the results on Facebook. You have my full support and admiration for your efforts.
If you're like me, and you'd rather spend the evening watching "Christmas Vacation" for the fiftieth time while eating pumpkin spice fudge and thinking that it's probably time to take the Thanksgiving decorations down and put the manger scene up on the fireplace mantel (once you locate the box it's in, that is), then you should feel absolutely no guilt about those choices. Let me know if you want the fudge recipe. It's good stuff and easy enough that even a Christmas slacker can make it.
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