Welcome to Adulting

The other day I was in the car with one of the offspring, and I was asked, Mom, what did you do at work all day?

Paperwork.  I did paperwork.

Apparently I use this answer a lot as a response to inquiries about how my day went, because the questioner (I'm pretty sure it was the Son of Never Stops Eating, so we'll go with that) responded with, Mom! That's all adults do! Paperwork! 

Yes, I am the Mom of Ceaselessly Filling Out Paperwork.

Actually, that's not entirely accurate.  Adults do other things, too: We stand in lines to submit paperwork.  We sit on hold to ask questions about paperwork.  We go online to figure out how to fill out paperwork.  We search through old documents to find birth certificates and old social security cards to provide supplemental evidence for paperwork.  We gasp in horror when we attempt to fill in paperwork on the internet and the computer gives us the blue screen of death just before we press the "submit" button. We sit in meetings that generate lots of paperwork. Other people send us paperwork that stacks up on kitchen counters, unread, until we really need to know what our homeowner's insurance policy really says.

I have filing cabinets full of paperwork that may or may not be important but that I'm afraid to get rid of because you never know, right?  Special education moms are paperwork magnets.

The Teenager is in the midst of the 21st century version of paperwork right now, filling out online college applications and applying for scholarships. The other day I applied for my very own FAFSA ID number so I could participate in filling out the very important FAFSA paperwork in October. I suspect that all this paperwork, and the prospect of still more paperwork to come, is causing the Teenager some stress. 

Welcome to adulthood, kid. I feel your suffering.

Sometimes when we're in overly stressful situations it's tempting to think that once you have lived through the challenging situation you find yourself in, life will become easier- once you finish high school and know what's next, whether it's college or the military or vocational school or a job, then life will be less stressful.  Then you start college, get married, buy a house, have a baby, get a new job that throws you some learning curves, or encounter any number of adulthood challenges and you start thinking, OK, I only have to get past this and everything will be great!

When I was the exhausted mother of young children, sometimes I'd look at families with older kids and think, "once my kids get to be that old, life will be so much easier!".  Then I became the mom with the older kids, and I realized that older kids come with their own challenges, so it wasn't really any easier; it was just different.

So, in the last few remaining months that I have to impart my Mom wisdom to the Teenager before she becomes the Young Adult and moves out and away from my constant influence and nagging, one lesson I can offer is this: learning healthy ways to manage stress is one of the best things that you can do for yourself.  Parents can stress you out.  School work can stress you out.  Thinking about the future can stress you out.  Financial stuff can stress you out.  Relationships can stress you out.  However, you are the one responsible for how you respond to that stress, because there will always be something or someone that is giving you stress.

Managing stress is not an easy skill to master;  I still let stress get the best of me at times and I'm practically eligible for AARP membership.   I find that taking lots of hikes in the woods and nature photography helps me manage stress; other people take yoga or martial arts or sing in bands or take painting classes or run;  different methods work for different people.  The important thing is to find something that works for you and to make that thing a priority. 

It won't get any easier from here; sometimes life will go smoothly and sometimes it won't, but there will almost always be something giving you stress, unless you are extraordinarily lucky or you're one of those few people who are immune to stress.  You'll find out if you are one of those people sometime next spring, when you get to fill out your first income tax return.

If that thought is already stressing you out, then welcome to adulthood.  If it makes you feel any better, the rest of us are right there with you.