The older the offspring get, the more I feel compelled to nag them about stuff I think they should be doing and are not doing, or stuff they are doing that I think they should not be doing. I'm not sure why that is, except that maybe, with every passing day, I'm becoming more and more aware that my window of opportunity to influence their ways is about to close. When they were in elementary school, I felt that I had plenty of time, so I didn't feel the urge to nag as much.
Now, especially since both the Teenager and the Son of Never Stops Eating are in high school and May 2018 graduation is a huge freight train with non-functioning brakes barreling downhill in my direction while I stand in the middle of the train tracks staring at it, unable to jump out of the way before impact, I feel like it's time for 24/7 parental nagging. After all, there are only about 15 months before we'll be dropping the Teenager off at some college residence hall somewhere and driving away. Nagging by text is not, in my opinion, as effective as in-person nagging. I have to get it all in now while I still can.
I know they both find this annoying. The other day, I was reminding (OK, nagging) the Teenager that she needed to finish her driving times before the end of August. I could tell that she was irritated, but you know what? The end of August is only THREE months away! And, as every band parent knows, the month of August is really not available for anything other than marching, coming home, taking a nap, and going back to march some more. So really, June and July. That's only TWO months! Come on, that car isn't going to parallel park itself!
When she reads this, she'll probably be annoyed some more and accuse me of nagging by blog, which I suppose I am doing. Dear Teenager, consider yourself nagged for the day.
During the elementary school years, I'd gently remind them that they needed to finish their homework or make sure that the soccer uniform was ready to go, knowing that if they didn't follow through then the worst that might happen would be a bad grade or not being able to play in the game. Suffering the consequences of a bad choice would be a good learning experience, so I was being a good mom by not nagging them incessantly.
Now, it's crunch time! Stuff's starting to get real! Time to fill out college applications! Take exams! Find out about scholarships! Do you think I want you living in my basement for ten years because you forgot to send out your high school transcript? I'm being a good mom by nagging you! I'm watching out for you because I love you!
Actually, no one can live in my basement because I don't have a basement. Any boomerang kids would probably have to set up a tent in the back yard, and it gets hot here in the summer.
I actually have taken my nagging lessons from the Son of Never Stops Eating, who is truly the master of the art. We'll have conversations like this:
Son; When can I go to Legoland this summer?
Me: I don't know yet.
Son: I really want to go to Legoland.
Me: I know. I have to look at my work schedule.
Son: Don't forget, Mom. I need to go to Legoland.
(five minutes later)
Son: Mom, when we go to Legoland, how much money can I have?
Me: Hey, by the way, you need to put your clothes away in your closet.
Son: MOM! You already told me once yesterday! I know! I know!
(five minutes later)
Son: Mom, when we go to Legoland I'm going to get a Lego Minecraft set.
Me: Did you put-
Son: Mom! I know what to do! Stop pestering me.
I know my kids don't like to be nagged. I don't like to be nagged. No one likes to be nagged. I swear that this is just a temporary thing. When the offspring leave home and go off to college or move into their own apartment, I promise not to text them all the time and pester them about things like eating healthy meals, making dentist appointments or paying tuition. However, I have only a short time left before they fledge the nest and fly away. So, about those transcripts....
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