Mentor of Happiness

Recently, I was in a situation where the subject of mentoring came up.  Questions were being asked about experiences with mentoring and how people had formally or informally mentored others, and one of the participants in the discussion mentioned that he saw himself as the "Mentor of Happiness".  The phrase got stuck in my head, and I had to spend some time thinking about it.

I have always thought of mentoring as a formal work-related arrangement, when the experienced older employee takes the young whippersnapper under his or her wing and shows them how to get stuff done without making political mistakes or serious career-ending missteps. In return, the mentee  might get the opportunity to give a great emotion-filled speech at his or her mentor's retirement ceremony after reaching his or her own pinnacle of professional success. 

Mentoring is broader that that, however.  We are all mentors of something, whether we want to be or not- probably whether we realize it or not, especially if you have children. Every parent knows the little turkeys are watching every move you make and every word you say and filing the information away for later use.  Parents are constantly the mentors of how to treat other people: when you're nasty or disrespectful to people, the message- intended or not- is that some people are worth less than others.  When you make snarky comments about another person's physical appearance, the message is that it's okay to be judgmental.

The reverse is also true; as parents we are also constantly in position to be mentors of how to treat other people with kindness and respect.  Sometimes we are unsuccessful and then we have the opportunity to be the mentors of how to apologize and make amends, because people make mistakes. 

When the Teenager became old enough to get a learner's permit for driving, I realized that I needed to start being the Mentor of Good Driving Skills.  It was time to stop all those questionable practices like speeding up to go through yellow lights, not really stopping at stop signs or making snarky comments about the driving skills of other drivers*. I wanted to avoid being in the awkward position of telling her not to do something and get that great teenager response: But Mom, YOU do it all the time! Most importantly, I wanted to model good defensive driving strategies and good driving habits to my teenaged learner. Telling her to always use her turn signal and failing to do it myself is not good mentoring.

My father was the mentor of managing money responsibly; he was also my mentor of the strategic use of good sarcasm (Shut that door! I don't want to air condition the entire state!). I found it annoying as a teenager but those skills came in really useful once I became an adult.  Thanks, Dad!

Some people are mentors of a bad attitude, or mentors of unnecessary drama.  Not only do they do it, but their actions are infectious. They can bring down a group of friends or even an entire organization.

Fortunately, some people are mentors of a good work ethic, or mentors of civic involvement, or mentors of working hard to improve the lives of other people. Not only do they embody those characteristics in their own lives, but they somehow manage to encourage other people to follow along just by example. Some people really are mentors of happiness; they are just always happy or optimistic, no matter what is happening, and when you are around them, you feel happy too.  The world needs all the good mentors it can get, so think about it- what kind of mentor are you?


*For the record, as a mentor of being honest about myself- I do sometimes still do this but I try to do it only when I'm driving by myself.  I try to limit it to the most egregious faults.  I'm working on it.