Summer Vacation

One recent Sunday, I was up early preparing to go on a hike with a friend.  The house was quiet, the air was still cool, and it seemed like everyone else in the household was asleep (except for the dog, who was sitting next to me hoping for a treat) until I looked up from lacing my hiking boots and saw the Son of Never Stops Eating standing in front of me.

Son: Mom, will you get donuts?
Me: I don't know.  Why should I get donuts?
Son: It's Sunday.  You always get donuts on Sunday.
Me: Maybe I want something in return.
Son: (looking concerned) Like what?
Me: Like more deodorant use in this house.
Son:  Mom, it's summer! No one uses deodorant in summer!

This is one of the fundamental differences between adulthood and childhood: when you are a kid, summer is different because you aren't in school and you can be lazy and sleep in.  When you're a grownup, the difference between summer and all the other seasons is that it's hotter and you spend more time praying to the A/C gods that the air conditioning doesn't break on the 4th of July. 

The Son of Never Stops Eating seems to think that summer vacation means that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.  The other night he was lobbying heavily for an all-day trip to Legoland. He won two passes in a contest a few months ago, and he's been driving me crazy about it ever since.  Practically every day,he'll ask me if we can go to Legoland tomorrow, and I'll tell him I have to go to work.

Tell your boss, he says, that you need to take your son to Legoland.  That's more important than work.  Just take the day off, Mom!

If my boss is reading this (or even if he's not), I'd actually probably rather be at work. Seriously.  The image of being at Legoland with hundreds of screaming kids on summer vacation is migraine-inducing. I have a headache just thinking about it.  I actually prefer my cubicle, where it's quiet and no one is hitting me up to buy Minecraft Lego kits for $149.99. 

The Son of Never Stops Eating has already started in on the "I'm bored!" ritual of summer vacation.  My suggestions usually don't go over well.  For example, I suggested the other day that if he was bored, he could clean his room.

Mom, he responded,  kids don't want to clean their rooms on summer vacation.  They want to have fun! They want to do fun things like go swimming and getting snow cones and going to Legoland and Target!

Well, we can go to Target, I told him.  We can get stuff to clean your room.

MOM! He replied, exasperated.  I want to go to Target to get fun stuff! Not cleaning stuff and NOT school supplies!

Maybe I need to adopt the same attitude towards summer.  I need the Mom summer vacation.  No cleaning, no paperwork, no chauffeur services (You want to go to the snow cone stand?  Start walking!), no banking transactions (Oh, you want your allowance? Sorry, the Bank of Mom is closed for summer vacation! See you in September!). I could even take a vacation from nagging my offspring (the Teenager would probably love that).  Out of snacks? That is a sad story! I'll get some after school starts. Until then, help yourself to the carrot sticks!

Summer vacation, as the teenager is finding out, is an ephemeral thing; there is no real vacation from adulthood.  In all seriousness, I want the Son of Never Stops Eating to enjoy summer while it lasts for him. I'll even spring for some snow cones and drive him to the pool.  But, unfortunately for him, there is no summer vacation from deodorant.