Theoretical Questions

The Teenager has been busy looking at colleges and attempting to narrow down which fine institutions of higher learning will receive the privilege of having her apply to their school.  She's using various selection criteria, such as "Do they offer my expected field of study?", "What is the campus like?" and "Do they provide overseas internships?".  

As the parent, I also have selection criteria: How much money will they give you in scholarships and how much money are they expecting me to fork over?

The other day, we were sitting at the kitchen table doing stuff and The Teenager asked, "Mom, if you could have gone to any college you wanted to and you didn't have to pay for it, which one would you have gone to?".

I honestly wasn't sure how to answer that question.  College was a long time ago.  Some things about the campus were wonderful; some were not so great.  The classes were small, for the most part, and I had some outstanding professors.  However, I don't recall the cafeteria food being that great (except the breakfast- the breakfast was actually pretty good) and it had a party school reputation. When I'd tell people who did not attend that school where I was enrolled, they'd invariably say, "Isn't that supposed to be a party school?".  Even now, when I tell people where I got my degree, they say, "Really? I heard that was a party school".

OK, maybe it was kind of a party school.  I might have partied a bit when I was a freshman. I suspect that given the right circumstances, any school could be a party school.  In the end I graduated and got a job and my father was probably thrilled that I could finally pay my own car insurance premiums, so it all worked out.

Now that I think about it, perhaps I would have gone somewhere in Colorado, or Oregon, or even overseas. But then I would probably have a different job and a different husband, and then I'd have different kids and I might live in a different state or maybe even a different country. 

A few days later, I was out on the nature trails with the Son of Never Stops Eating and he asked me, "Mom, do you ever wonder what life would be like if you didn't have your children?"

I think about that every time I step on one of your Legos in my bare feet, I told him.  He looked shocked and denied that he ever left Legos on the floor.

Without kids, I'd probably have a lot more money and a  much cleaner house.  I could buy a box of Girl Scout cookies and have a reasonable expectation that I'd actually get to eat more than one.   But I'd also have missed out on such joys as working the band concession stand.  I wouldn't have stories to tell, like the time the Son of Never Stops Eating had to go to the emergency room after he got bit by a squirrel at the zoo (it was a wild squirrel, not an exhibit).  I might even be wondering what my life would have been like if I'd had children.

I'm not sure if my kids like to ask me these questions because it serves some developmental purpose in the maturation of the adolescent brain, or if they just enjoy asking their mother these what-if questions.  When it gets too philosophically deep for me, I just keep one thing in mind: at least they're talking to me.