A Sad Cookie Story

The other day, I was having a major Girl Scout cookie craving at work.  Unfortunately, there were no boxes of Girl Scout cookies anywhere near my cube. However, I knew, because I had bought them myself, that we had a box of Tagalogs at the house.  I drove home obsessing about how good that delicious creamy peanut butter and crunchy cookie covered in chocolate was going to taste after a long hard day in the cubicle.

I walked in the door, mouth watering in anticipation, and opened the door to the pantry, expecting to see that red Tagalongs box sitting on the shelf. 

Alas, the box was gone.  I stared at the shelf in utter disbelief.

What happened to the Tagalongs? I asked, indignantly. We had a whole box! Where did it go?

We have other cookies, the Dad of No said, trying to be helpful.  There's some Nilla Wafers in there.

I have nothing against Nilla Wafers; they taste lovely in banana pudding. However, no one sits in their cubicle at work, thinking, you know what, I really wish I had some Nilla Wafers right now.  I don't think I have ever had a Nilla Wafer craving.  Tagalongs, on the other hand...

The Son of Never Stops Eating wandered into the kitchen. I ate those cookies, he said. I ate all of them. They were delicious! We need to get more!

This is what it is like to be living in a house with teenagers.  If it is delicious, or chocolate, or sweet, or if it is any kind of potato chips, or salty, or covered in butter, or really, if it is at all edible and it is not tofu or raw carrot sticks, it has to be hidden or it will be consumed within minutes of purchase. 

Later, I was sitting at the kitchen table eating some Hershey's Kisses from a secret stash I had hidden away from teenager eyes and stomachs.  The Son of Never Stops Eating came over and stood next to me, looking at the table.

Son: Where did you get those?
Me:  From my secret stash.
Son: Where is it?
Me:  You think I'm telling you where my secret stash is? You'll eat everything in it!
Son:  Starts giggling uncontrollably.

Leaving Girl Scout cookies unguarded in the pantry is a bad idea. Going to the grocery store with teenagers is also a bad idea.  When I take teenagers to the store, I am constantly getting hit up for food that was not on the shopping list, like frosted sugar cookies, chips, chocolate yogurt (at least I can tell myself that might have some redeeming nutritional value, since it is called "yogurt"),  vegetable straws (they at least have the word "vegetable" on the package) that are needed as "study food" (how can a mother say no to "study food"?) and all kinds of other snacks.

This stuff is not for me, I tell the cashier.  I point to whichever teenager happens to be with me. It's for them.  The cashier usually just smiles and tells me how much cash to fork over.

Last weekend, we had to make a run to the home improvement big box store to buy a vacuum cleaner (exciting, I know).  If they are selling Girl Scout cookies in front of the store, I told the Dad of No, I'm buying a bunch. They were, and  I bought every box of Tagalongs they had. When I got home, we hid some in a secret hiding place before the Son of Never Stops Eating was aware of their presence.

No, I'm not telling anyone where that hiding place is. My teenagers read this blog.