Plastic Bag Hypocrite

From time to time, the Mom of No and family participate in various trash clean ups.  I always come away from these activities with a hatred of plastic bags; after you've spent ten minutes trying to free a plastic shopping bag from a tree while getting stuck with all kinds of thorns, your perspective on convenient shopping accessories changes a little.  I usually get back in the car, covered in mud and poison ivy oils and scratched up from head to toe, and exclaim something to the effect of "I am done with plastic bags! No more plastic bags! Reusable bags only from now on!".

The offspring usually just sit in the back seat and look at me.  They are the Adolescents of We Have Heard This One Before.

Also, here is something you need to know about the Son of Never Stops Eating: he operates with no filter.  Whether this is something related to his autism, or something he inherited from his mother, who also has a filter problem from time to time, I'm not sure- but he says what he thinks.  Sometimes, this is refreshing and enjoyable. Sometimes, not so much.  He is also an ardent environmentalist.

So recently I had participated in a trash clean up and I came home with my usual complaints about plastic bags, plastic fishing line, plastic water bottles, plastic food containers, and plastic everything else, and how all this plastic was destroying the Earth and it would really just be better if plastic was banned and we all used reusable bags and bottles. 

Then the Son of Never Stops Eating and I went to the grocery store.

We selected our items and were proceeding to the checkout line when he spotted a large display of water bottles by the checkout lanes. 

"MOM!" he exclaimed.  "Look at these water bottles! People should not be buying these water bottles! They're plastic!".  A woman who was putting a 24 pack in her cart looked over at us.

"Maybe people are buying them for a special event, or they want to stock up for the zombie apocalypse".  I told him.  The Son of Never Stops Eating and I are both Walking Dead fans. "I'm quite certain that a zombie invasion would bring a halt to water treatment plant operations". 

"I thought you said plastic water bottles were bad!" he said. 

The cashier started checking us out, and I directed the Son of Never Stops Eating to start putting the food in bags while I signed over my paycheck.  He looked at me, stricken. 

"These are plastic bags!" he said.  "I thought you said we were using reusable bags now!"

"They might be in the car".  I told him.  Actually, I have quite a few, but they weren't in my car.  They are in the house somewhere, because the last time I decided it was time to ban plastic from my life I went to the grocery store with my reusable bags, filled them with groceries, took them in the house, and put them somewhere with a mental note to put them back in my car, but they're still sitting where I left them, wherever that is.

"MOM!" he said, exasperated. "I thought you were a friend to nature!"

"I am a friend to nature!" I responded. "I love nature!"

"But you're still using plastic bags!" he pointed out.  "Don't you care about the birds and the trees?"

Clearly I have some more work to do on my reduction of plastic use goals.  I have no doubt whatsoever that my son will be with me every step of the way, pointing out my failures and encouraging me to change my ways.  The Lorax would be proud.

And just for the record- we do use reusable water bottles, but I don't have quite enough yet to stock up water for the zombie apocalypse.  I'll probably have to supplement my stash with those evil plastic water bottles.