Pre-Election Fatigue

After some serious thought and consideration, I have decided that I am suffering from Pre-Election Fatigue, also known as PEF.  I almost considered calling it Pre-Election Exhaustion, and then I realized that the initials would be PEE, and I have an adolescent boy in my household, so I get enough jokes about bodily functions already.  I don't need to add to my misery.

I realized this was happening when I was in Winco stocking up on food for the fourth time this week.  I was trying to grocery shop and follow a rather contentious thread on some Facebook page about the election at the same time, and all of a sudden I stopped in the middle of the bulk bin section and it was like a neon sign went on in my head: here I was standing in bulk bin nirvana (I have an ongoing love affair with the Winco bulk bin section) and instead of gazing lovingly at the candy and the grains and the pasta by the pound, I was obsessed with reading other peoples' opinions about the candidates.  Then I realized that I already know who I am voting for, and reading all that stuff written by people I don't even know was causing unnecessary angst. It was also wasting valuable time that could be better spent doing productive work, like hiking or cleaning the bathroom.

Here is how you alleviate the symptoms of PEF:  log off of Facebook. Put the phone back in your purse.  Go purchase two pounds of your favorite snack.

Seriously, this election is wearing me out.  I want to escape to some deserted island or mountaintop cabin and live there until the morning of  November 9, 2016.  At that time, I will come out from my deserted hiding spot to see what has transpired.   This is an unrealistic plan for many reasons, but a voter can dream. 

Even after the election, however, I don't think things will go back to rainbows and butterflies; we will all still have to live with each other no matter what the results are, which is something I think we are forgetting.  Since I've seen some pretty bitter fighting, even among people who used to actually like each other until they realized that they have different political preferences, that might be a tough challenge.

You have to tread carefully these days.  If someone asks the question, "So, what do you think about the election?" this question could be a trap, unless you actually know the person well and have an idea as to how your response will go over.  The most popular reply seems to be "Well, I don't really like any of them", or "I'm thinking about writing in SpongeBob SquarePants", or "Hey, did you see the last episode of Dancing with the Stars?", or if you are me, "Check out this cool snake I found at the nature preserve!".

A good snake picture can usually divert the conversation fairly quickly and easily.

If you mess up and answer that question honestly, you might find yourself de-friended on Facebook. It's happened to me twice.  Since I have an innate strong need to tell people what I actually think when they ask me for my opinion (this characteristic has gotten me in trouble since I learned how to talk), this line of questioning only adds to my pre-election fatigue.

I don't even want to watch the news anymore.  When I go to the gym to walk on the treadmill, I have started watching HGTV instead.  It's not that I don't want to be an informed voter; it's that I think I've reached my tolerance for people screaming at each other on TV.  Besides, I'm thinking about new flooring in my house.  I'm wondering what the Property Brothers would recommend. Laminate? Tile? Carpet? Hardwood flooring?

I'm waiting for some pharmaceutical company to come out with medication for PEF, advertise it on TV and the radio, and sell it for exorbitant amounts of money.  If they do, they by golly better give me a share of the profits for coming up with this in the first place.

At least PEF is a time-limited problem.  After November 2016, I can relax knowing that my bout of PEF is over and I have returned to solid good health.  Until the 2020 election comes around, that is.  Hopefully by then I'll have figured out how to go hide in Fiji for six months. I have four years to get a plan worked out, or at least a fantastic supply of snake photographs.