My Appliances Hate Me

Apparently, the Household of No has offended some great cosmic force that oversees the well-being of household appliances.  I'm not sure if I should smudge my household with sage or conduct an exorcism, but it is clear that something has gone awry.

A few weeks ago, our washing machine bit the dust.  At first we thought it was related to a plumbing issue, but the plumber came out and said no, the two problems had nothing to do with each other.  So we called an appliance repairman, who informed the Dad of No that the washing machine would cost $800 to repair. 

So, off we went to our local home improvement store to buy a brand new washing machine.  The shiny new washing machine was delivered. The old one was taken away. All was well.  The universe appeared to be at peace. 

Alas, no.  We did not know it at the time, but forces beyond our understanding were conspiring against our household.

I came home from work six days after the delivery of the brand-new washing machine to find out that the Dad of No had been on the phone with the manufacturer of the washing machine because it was flashing some error code he couldn't find in the owner's manual.  When you can't find the code in the owner's manual, that is a definite indication that something has gone horribly wrong.  Even the manufacturer's call center representative didn't know what the code was.  They had to go look it up.

Apparently something went wrong with the circuit board, or the mother board, or some really important washing machine component.  Also, the door of the machine was locked shut, and our laundry was trapped in there.  Did I mention that this washing machine was six days old?

My parents had the same washer and dryer for about 30 years.  The appliances were virtually indestructible.  But now we have planned obsolescence.  Nothing lasts 30 years.  You can almost hear the manufacturers snickering amongst themselves: We'll make the darn things more expensive to repair, and use cheaper parts, and they'll have to keep coming back for more! <insert diabolical laugh>.

So, back to the home improvement store.  A new washing machine would be delivered. All would be well. All we had to do was return the defective washing machine to the store, and no worries!

Envision this: the Mom of No attempting to place a washing machine in the trunk of her car.

A visit with the store manager set that straight. Two days later, a brand new washing machine was delivered, and the defective one taken away.  We are eyeing the second new washing machine with cautious optimism; hopefully the second one will be trouble-free. I'm also wondering if I'll ever get my trapped laundry back, or if it will be held hostage by the defective machine forever.  Fortunately it was just bed sheets and not my underwear or the Son of Never Stops Eating's favorite shirt.

I hope this is the end of the washing machine saga. I don't have time to mess with the washing machine anymore.  We have just found out that our dishwasher is now malfunctioning.