Complaining

The Mom of No thinks we should stop complaining on Facebook*.

By complaining, what she really means is whining and pot-stirring.

Seriously, if you are in your mid-twenties or older, you should know the difference between a real problem and a Suck It Up Buttercup complaint.  Teenagers whine about things that older people think are not worth whining about because they lack perspective.  A Mom of No story here: The Mom of No took one of the teenagers to a Doc in the Box a few years ago because the teenager kept complaining about her knee hurting.  When the doctor asked the teenager to rate the pain on a scale of 1-10, the teenager says, "10! It's a 10! It hurts SO BAD!". There was much agony and gnashing of teeth.  The Mom of No scoffed at that rating.  A 2 maybe, but not a 10.  This was Suck It Up Buttercup pain, not a red frowny face on the chart pain. A 10 is childbirth, or a bone sticking out of your leg, or a nail in your eye.  But the doctor pointed out that pain is relational, so if you don't have much to compare it to, then minor knee pain might be a 10 to a healthy, active teenager.  The Mom of No tries to take that point into consideration when she hears teenager whining.

But adults?  We should know better. 

We expect people to give us the benefit of the doubt while we refuse to give it to others, and we expect to go through our lives never being inconvenienced by others while expecting others to be completely understanding and forgiving when we inconvenience them.  Clearly, this is not sustainable thinking.  At one point or another in our lives, we all depend on someone- often a stranger- to give us the benefit of the doubt, or to have some patience, or to be forgiving when we make mistakes.  We shouldn't expect it of others while refusing to give it ourselves.

When people post whining and pot stirring on Facebook, I often wonder what results they are hoping for.  Are you posting a picture of a car that cut you off (but didn't actually hit you) because you're expecting the other residents of your community to hunt them down and string them up by their toes in the town square?   That probably isn't going to happen (at least I hope not). You went to a restaurant and you didn't get quite what you were expecting?  Talk to the manager so the business can make it right before you post on Facebook that the restaurant sucks and no one should ever go there.  Baby crying on your flight? Did you arrive safely at your destination? Bring ear buds next time. The Mom of No hates it when people recline the seat on an airplane, but that's how air travel is these days.  Zen breathing, ear plugs, and a good book go far to mitigate the misery.

It can be hard not to do this.  When we feel we've been wronged in some way, posting it on Facebook and getting responses can make it seem like we are receiving justice if the feedback is (mostly) supportive.  But did anything really get resolved? Facebook is good for many things- keeping in touch, posting pictures of cute critters, keeping people informed, and yes- helping people resolve problems.  But sometimes if you need to whine or complain, you're better off just calling texting your BFF and venting to them. 

*The Mom of No has likely been guilty of doing this very thing that she is telling others not to do, but she is trying very hard not to.  Sometimes I'm about to hit the post button, then thinks, "Do I sound whiny and petty?" and if the answer is  yes, I delete it- but sometimes the filter malfunctions.

This post is, by the way, teenager-approved.