Survey This

For some reason, May seems to be Survey Month.  In the last week or so, I've gotten surveys from my electricity provider, my bank, and a charity I donate to.  I've also gotten surveys from my employer asking about my satisfaction as an employee, where I think the leadership is successful, and where I think the leadership could improve. 

When it comes to that one, I suspect they're asking the wrong questions. We all know that no matter how many times I indicate I'd be happier with a 100% raise, that isn't going to happen.  I think they need to be asking the questions everyone needs clarified for workplace harmony, like:

Who, in your opinion, is responsible for cleaning out the break room fridge?
a) The administrative staff
b) The female employees
c) The person most repulsed by the two-month old unclaimed tuna sandwich
d) It should be on a rotating basis
e)  The person who spilled the tomato juice and didn't clean it up.

Or, this one:

What, in your opinion, is the appropriate first step to take when the printer jams?
a) Pretend it didn't happen
b) Call tech support
c) Attempt to fix it yourself by dismantling the entire machine
d) Tell the intern to fix it
e) Verbally threaten the printer with dire consequences and wait to see if that has an effect on its behavior.

Then, after I'd given it more thought, I wondered if maybe I should survey my offspring.  Completely anonymous, of course.  First, it would be helpful for household management purposes to see what the teenagers are really thinking; second, it would help improve morale by letting the teenagers know that I care about their thoughts and opinions; and finally, it would either confirm my success as a parent or indicate where I need to increase my efforts and improve my performance. For example:

The level of maternal nagging in this household is:
a) Too much- leave me alone!
b) Mostly okay but sometimes you get on my nerves
c) Just right
d) You could nag me a bit more; I'm feeling slightly under-nagged
e) I feel that substantially increased nagging would make me a better contributor to society.

What is your understanding of where money comes from?
a) The money tree in the backyard.
b)  Mom's paycheck
c)  You go to the bank and ask for some, and they give it to you!
d)  A little plastic card with your name on it
e)  I have no idea but I could use $20

When the dog starts whining to go outside, the appropriate response is to:
a)  Yell for a parent to do it
b)  Ignore it
c)  Insist that it's your sibling's turn because you did it last time
e)  Open the door, let the dog out, and then leave the door open and forget about it until someone asks, five hours later, why the back door is open.
d)  Let the dog out, let the dog back in, and shut the door.

When it comes to chores, I am:
a) Overworked and substantially underpaid
b) Paying my sibling in secret to do them for me
c)  Happy to do them; doing chores helps me contribute to the family.
d)  I want to do more! I'm ready to take on more responsibility!
e)  Looking forward to the day I move out and get my own place so I can do what I want instead of having to unload the dishwasher and vacuum the floor.

I haven't decided yet, but I'm seriously considering this.  After all, it would be interesting to see the results. Also, since filling out surveys seems to be part of adult life, the teenagers could probably use the practice.