The Low Bar Easter

Yes, I know.  You're reading this, thinking, hasn't Easter already happened? Yes, it has.  However, I couldn't write about this before, because then I'd be giving away the Household of No Easter Bunny secrets, and also because I didn't actually get around to doing any Easter stuff because I was busy doing other things, and all of a sudden it was the week before Easter and at that point, why bother to put up any decorations? I'd just have to take them down again.  I still actually have my Valentine's Day decorations up. (Side note: by decorations, what I am really referring to is a decorative plate on my fireplace mantel).

What happened was that I never got around to buying stuff for the adolescents' Easter baskets.  In past years I would get organized before Ash Wednesday, slowly buying little gifts and treats that I knew they would really like. This parenting tradition involved going to several stores and some creative thinking on my part.  This year, I just never got around to it.  Also, there was this little voice inside my brain that had started saying. "Um, aren't your kids getting a little old for the Easter Bunny?" 

Yes, I know. You are never really too old for the Easter Bunny. Or is that Santa Claus?  Oh, never mind.  I have no idea if there is a traditional age at which the Easter Bunny stops coming to your house, but whatever it is, my offspring are probably rapidly approaching it.

So the week before Easter, I was at Target with the Son of Never Stops Eating. Of course, they had Easter stuff all over the place, and that's when I realized that (1) Easter was in less than 7 days; (2) Now would be a good time to buy the Easter basket stuff, and (3), I had one of the adolescents with me.  I was going to have to be the Mom of Thinking Fast and Acting Quickly.

Go find something to do, I told the Son of Never Stops Eating.  I don't really care what it is, as long as it doesn't involve me getting paged over the announcement system. 

Can I look at the Legos, he asked me.  Yes, I told him.  Just go.  He gave me a strange look, but he went.

I ran over to the Target Starbucks and bought a gift card, then I grabbed two bags of milk chocolate Easter eggs, one huge bag of Bubble Yum chewing gum (the Teenager's favorite) and a bag of M&M's (the Son of Never Stops Eating is a chocoholic).  Then I went through the checkout line and added a Target gift card to my pile.

Just as the cashier started checking me out, the Son of Never Stops Eating reappeared.  Go away, I told him.  Go out to the front. I'll be there in a minute.

Can I have a Lego City Lego set? He asked me. I gave him a Mom Glare.  He fled the scene, and I continued my top secret Easter Bunny shopping mission.

After having successfully done my Easter Bunny shopping without raising the suspicion of any nosy teenagers, I woke up early on Easter morning, put the Starbucks gift card with the gum and one package of chocolate eggs, the Target gift card with the M&Ms and the other package of chocolate eggs, wrapped rubber bands around the gift card and candy, and put the piles on the kitchen table. Then I went back to bed.  Yes, I could have put the candy in the Easter baskets, but the baskets were actually still in the attic.  Climbing up into the attic at 1 AM seemed like a bad safety practice.

When the Teenagers woke up later that morning (or, it might have been afternoon) they were both thrilled with their loot.  So there you go, the successful Low Bar Parenting Easter Basket.