You're Grownups. Act Like It

The Mom of No has had enough.

No, not enough of the teenagers doing teenager things- I expect a certain amount of eye rolling and arguing from the teenagers in my household.  I'm assured by the pediatrician, other mothers of teenagers, high school teachers, books on parenting teenagers, the Grandfather of No, and practically everyone else who has anything whatsoever to do with teenagers that whining, eye rolling, sulky behavior, arguing with others and messy rooms are developmentally normal at this age.  I would be happier if certain individuals would be a bit more consistent with the deodorant, but generally, I'm good with the teenagers.

I'm annoyed with my elected officials.  The Mom of No is now the Constituent of Appalled and it has a lot to do with behavior.  In other words, you're grownups.  Now, act like it.

In recent weeks, I've seen a locally elected official come close to losing it on Facebook when challenged on a controversial local issue. I've seen a video of a state-level elected official losing his composure when a bunch of middle school kids asked a legitimate question. I've read about federal-level elected officials refusing to meet with constituents. 

Seriously, guys? This is your idea of leadership? If so, that is a sad story, because you're honestly not very good at it. 

Here's some insight.  I don't expect to agree with everything my elected officials do.  I don't expect to agree with every vote, or every position, or every philosophy.  Sometimes I think you are right on, and sometimes I think that you must have been hangry when you made that vote, or weren't paying attention because you were texting and voting, and sometimes I think that you are just flat out clueless on a certain issue. 

Here's what I do expect: to be treated and to see others treated with decency and respect by a mature, responsible individual who can handle disagreement in a diplomatic way and is willing to take ownership of his or her actions.   I know it's not easy to sustain that kind of performance, and I know we're all human- but you're a leader, and the burden of responsible behavior is greater for you. 

Sometimes, however, even leaders make mistakes. When you screw up and have to make an apology, this is how it's done: "I was wrong.  I apologize.  I assure you that I will take every step to ensure it does not happen again, and I recognize that my behavior was hurtful and inappropriate.".  You don't try to place blame on others, or cite that their views were aggravating you, or imply that your behavior was actually excusable because your cause is, in your opinion, righteous.  Here's advice straight from The Teenager: apologize, and don't do it again. 

Now you should be embarrassed, because a 16 year old knows how to make a better apology than you do.

If I'm talking to you directly, I don't want to be patronized, or have my questions ignored, or be given non-answers.  I'm assuming most people don't like this.  I'm a grownup.  I can handle it if you don't agree with me, or if you think I have misunderstood the issue, or if I'm flat out wrong about something.  I can handle it if we have different views.  I might not vote for you, but I promise not to have a hissy fit about it (at least not in public- I might make some snarky comments to my friends on Facebook). I have a right to know your positions on issues.  That's your job.  If it's complicated, explain why.  I have a kid in special education.  I can relate to complicated.

Right now, in this nation, there is a political divide the size of the Grand Canyon.  Bad behavior from the people elected to represent us doesn't help narrow that gap any; it only makes it worse. Please grow up and be the leaders we need you to be.