The Teenager and I have, for the last couple of years, been visiting universities off and on in preparation for the Big Decision About College. At this point, we have been on six campuses. As we tour these esteemed institutions of higher education, I'm realizing that some things will never change about college campuses, while other things have changed dramatically.
Parking, for example, seems to be a perennial challenge. When the Teenager and I drove up to visit a fine university in the Land of Brats, Cheese and Beer, we drove around for almost an hour looking for a place to park so that we could go on our campus tour. When I finally found a spot, it had a three hour time limit and I had to go beg for quarters from the campus police station, which was right across the street. The coffee shop next door had a big sign that said "WE DO NOT HAVE QUARTERS SO DON'T BOTHER ASKING", so I'm assuming that I wasn't the only visitor who came unprepared.
We ended up being gone a lot longer than three hours, but fortunately when I came back, my car had not been ticketed. That was truly my lucky day. When I was in college, the campus police were quite generous with dispensing parking tickets to both students and unsuspecting visitors.
Every campus seems to feature a gorgeous recreation center, complete with rock climbing wall, swimming pool, a large number of treadmills, and exercise classes galore. All of this, of course, is free. Free for the students, that is. On one of the tours I could hear another parent muttering something about how she'd be paying for it but she couldn't use it, and the kid better get her into a really nice retirement home when the time came.
Ok, I admit it, that was actually me.
When I was a college student, our recreation center was a dirt track, or you could wake up really early and go swim laps at the campus natatorium before they started using the pool for PE classes. Why do college students need a fancy recreation center, anyway? What's wrong with riding a bike around campus on your way to class?
Most of the dorms come with a small refrigerator, and you can bring a microwave if you want to. No having to hide your contraband hot pot from the RA, or your roommate if her or she was the kind of person who would rat you out to the residence hall authorities. Every campus has Wi-Fi, and free IT support. When I went to college, I had my own typewriter and I felt quite privileged. Now, of course, you bring your laptop, but if something happens to it, no worries- computers seem to be everywhere. Free, of course.
I suspect at this point the Mom of No is starting to sound like the Mom of Cranky, or the Grandpa of No.
At least, I thought, the cafeteria food is probably the same. I do remember having choices: the King Ranch Casserole, Tuna Mystery Surprise, or cereal. That was why I needed the contraband hot pot; tomato soup, ramen noodles and a dozen Oreo cookies can be a great college student meal.
Apparently, however, even the food has gotten better. At one university, in America's heartland, we were invited to eat in one of the cafeterias after our tour. I asked the student giving the tour if the food was okay, and she looked shocked that I would even consider that it might not be entirely edible. Our cafeteria food is great! she said. We have a huge salad bar, and all kinds of food to pick from! And they did! You could have chicken fried steak, or vegetarian lasagna, or hamburgers, or unlimited salad, or ice cream, or chocolate cake, or all of the above. No wonder the students needed the recreation center, with a limitless dessert bar.
Here are some things that have not changed: The student's laundry does not do itself. Dorms (excuse me, residence halls) still smell vaguely like institutional-strength cleaner. The textbooks are still horribly expensive, although one student tour guide mentioned that you could buy them cheaper on Amazon. Pizza places are everywhere near campus.
One more thing that probably hasn't changed: Mom, walking around, wondering to herself, when did I get old enough to have an almost- college student?
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