Freezing

Winter has arrived, at least temporarily, in our neck of the woods.  With winter's arrival comes the hope that lives eternally in every K-12 student's heart:  The unceasing, fervent hope that school will be cancelled because of inclement weather.  Never mind that you have to make it up later; the details are unimportant.  What's important is no school!

The Son of Never Stops Eating was bouncing around the house last night, making plans for a free day off just in case some miracle occurred between dinner time last night and the start of school this morning.  I knew his cause was hopeless; we were forecasted to receive slightly freezing temperatures but no snow or ice.  He didn't want to hear it, however.  He refused to allow his dreams to be dashed by his pessimistic parents.

Son: Mom, will it be cold enough to cancel school tomorrow?
Me: No, there won't be any ice.
Son: Mom, no kids want to go to school when it's cold.
Me: I can believe that.
Son: No teachers want to be at the school either.
Me:  I hear you.
Son: The only people who want us to go to school are the parents.

Yes, that is exactly right. As your mother, and also as a payer of property taxes, I want your butt to be sitting at your desk tomorrow morning, and you better be bright eyed and ready to learn something.  In addition, you better have a good attitude about it.  If I have to go to work when it's cold, you have to go to school. Suck it up, buttercup.  It's a sad story.

Yet, although it was evidently too cold for educational purposes, it was apparently not cold enough to wear any winter clothing.  For some reason, teenage boys- or at least the one who resides in my house-seem to be just fine with shorts, a short-sleeved t-shirt, and bare feet while I am bundled up in my long underwear, a sweater, boots with thick socks and two blankets- and the heater on. 

I want you to wear a long-sleeved shirt tomorrow, I told him, and a coat.  I took his coat out of the hall closet and showed it to him.  He slouched down on the sofa. I didn't mention wearing a hat or gloves; I knew that would be asking too much.  Some battles you simply will not win.

I don't want to wear a coat, he said. I'm okay with just a t-shirt on.  I don't need to wear a coat.

I gave him the Mom Glare in response.  Wear the coat, I told him.  It's too cold to walk around outside with just a shirt on.  Also, I don't want to be known as the mom who lets her kids go outside without the appropriate clothing on.  It's the kind of thing that moms get shamed for on Facebook.

I can understand his heart's desire for a school closure. I'll admit that I wouldn't mind a cold day to hang out, drink hot cocoa, and watch the best Christmas movie ever, "Christmas Vacation", before taking a nap.  However, after a day of that, I start getting stir crazy and it's no longer fun.  I start thinking about all the work I'll have to catch up on after the ice melts, and how someone needs to get brave and go to the grocery store because we're out of milk and chocolate ice cream, and I start wondering if that funky sound the heater is making is normal, or if it's getting ready to explode.  At the time the "no work" announcement is made, however, my heart jumps for joy.  I'll own it. 

You never know what the winter will bring, I told the Son of Never Stops Eating.  Today is not your day for no school, but keep hoping.  In the meantime, you still have to wear a coat when it's freezing outside. 

Apparently, it is never too cold to roll your eyes at your mother.