Success

When I was in my twenties, a co-worker and I would often sign up for 5K races on the weekends.  Our inside joke was that we would be happy just to not be last, but we were in pretty good shape and we were young, so we never actually finished last.  Now, at 46, when I run (more like walk really fast... the knees, you know) the occasional 5K, sometimes I actually am last.  And, you know what, I am totally fine with that.  Someone has to be last, and sometimes that person is me.  I consider just finishing to be a success.  Three miles! I walked three miles! And I'm alive!

I was thinking about success and how we define it two weekends ago, as the Household of No struggled to survive a plumbing crisis.  The plumber couldn't come until the following Wednesday, and we couldn't use our dishwasher, our washing machine, or the sink.  The dishwasher I was fine with, since I have teenagers that can perform the same function, but the kitchen sink- well, that's a challenge. The water came in, but it wouldn't go out, and someone (who shall remain nameless) kept pouring chocolate milk down the drain that wouldn't drain.  At that moment, the most important person in my life was a plumber I didn't even know.

When schools talk about measuring success, often it's in terms of how many graduates go on to college.  Even better, how many graduates go on to big, well known, influential colleges.  That perception of success doesn't work for every student.  Some kids just aren't ready for college, or they don't want to go.  They'd rather do something else.  Their abilities might not be academic in nature.  But no one says anything about measuring success in terms of how many kids go on to become auto mechanics, or electricians, or plumbers.  

When your kids get to the point where they are considering what they want to do after high school, it feels good to say something like "oh, she's going to go to (big name college) and major in electrical engineering or pre-med".  That's parenting success, right there.  People are impressed with this.  Having a kid who is planning on entering a trade, well, that just doesn't have the same cachet.  You don't see high schools saying "50% of our students became carpenters, plumbers and HVAC technicians".  It's all about that prestigious university.

But, two weekends ago, I was seriously wishing I had a plumber. In my kitchen.  Fixing my plumbing issue.

School success seems to be defined by test scores and college enrollment rates. I was in a meeting not too long ago in which one topic of discussion was "how do you measure a school's success?". The discussion kept going back to "how many kids graduate and go to a top university?".  If that's the only definition of success, lots of kids are unsuccessful.

I have a kid who will probably go to college and do very well.  I have another one who hates school.  He struggles with academics.  His goal is to work at a pet store taking care of hamsters.  When I tell people this, sometimes they tell me about adaptive programs at universities.  I think these programs are great.  But I get the idea from my son that isn't his thing.  If he gets a job at a pet store, and he's happy, and being productive and contributing to society, isn't that success?  If you're a plumber, and you're good at what you do, and you have a thriving business, isn't that success?

The world needs all kinds of people- doctors, pet store workers, auto mechanics, salespeople, nurses, artists, writers,  computer experts,  police officers,  hair stylists, and plumbers.   When we talk about what makes a school successful, we should recognize that a student who decides to become a plumber (or a pet store worker) and works hard towards that goal is successful just like a student who decides to become a doctor and works hard toward that goal is successful.