Several months ago, when the Son of Never Stops Eating was still in 10th grade, he was going on a field trip with his class. As part of that excursion, they were going to stop and eat at a restaurant, and the instructions said to bring money for a lunch and tip. The night before, I went searching for $10 to give him and came up with about $5 and a few stray pennies.
"I don't think this is going to be enough", I told him. "Use your debit card and I'll pay you back".
About ten minutes after lunch the next day, he started texting me: MOM! Did you pay me back? MOM! I need money! MOM! Don't forget to pay me back! MOOOMMMMMMM I want my MONEY MOM! Did you put $10 in my account yet? MOM I want my MONEY!
Then: Mom I love you Mom don't forget my money!
He was being really persistent, considering that the only money he had at the time was the allowance I was giving him, so technically he had loaned me my own money and was now demanding rapid reimbursement of money I'd given him in the first place even though I'd meant it to pay for hamster bedding and saving up for Legos, not for lunch- it was like dealing with a Vegas loan shark (not that I've had that experience first hand, but I can envision it) or the Mafia.
You should be happy he doesn't know about interest, a co-worker said. He'd be charging you by the minute. I was making a mental note to never borrow my own money from my son again, and was remembering the days long ago when I wondered if he'd ever be able to read or write well enough to get a point across. Clearly, this educational milestone had been met.
A few weeks ago, he ordered, using money he'd made from a part-time summer job, his latest heart's desire: a Lego Star Wars X-wing or V-wing Darth Vader Super Fighting Rebel Warp Drive Fighter Jet (or something like that). He had ordered this, with my assistance (by which I mean he stood behind me and told me exactly what number the Lego set was from memory while I typed in the order) from a gargantuan online seller. It was actually being shipped by a third-party, not the behemoth itself, a fact which really didn't register at the moment. He ordered it using his debit card (side note: we won't be doing that anymore, so if you're tempted to message me that this was a bad idea, you don't need to) and immediately (and by immediately, what I really mean is "the nanosecond I pressed the order button") started pestering me about when this Super-V Wing Jet Nuclear Powered Jedi Fighter was going to arrive. Patience, grasshopper, I advised him. It's not like he doesn't have at least three huge tubs of Legos already.
It didn't arrive that day, or the next day, or the day after that, or even the week after that- it hadn't even shipped. I tried to cancel the order, but was being ignored by the evil third-party seller, who had promised Legos but wasn't delivering. Fortunately the debit card hadn't been charged but it could be, at any moment, so I had told the Son of Never Stops Eating that he couldn't spend that money on anything else just yet. I needed the order cancelled, desperately, because the Son of Never Stops Eating was wanting his Legos, or permission to use his money, and he was wanting them RIGHT NOW and by RIGHT NOW I mean that the kid was on summer break and he had plenty of time to text his mother about his desperate lack of a specific Lego construction kit.
MOM! I WANT MY LEGOS! Did you call? Mom don't forget to call! Mom, I NEED my X-Wing fighter! Mom, Don't forget I need my Legos MOM! MOM! MOOOOMMMMMM! I want my money!
MOM I love you MOM Did you cancel it yet? Don't forget MOM!
Please, I am begging you, I told the customer service representative from Gargantuan Seller. My son is obsessed with these Legos and also with his money. Please help me cancel the order so that he can order something else. The customer service representative was efficient and merciful and was able to inform me that yes, the order was being cancelled and with that miraculous news, the Son of Never Stops Eating was once again free to spend his money on some other Lego set despite both the Father of No and I encouraging him to do something bold and new, like save his money or buy something else that isn't Legos.
In special education transition to adulthood meetings, the subject of handling and managing money often comes up as a needed skill. The next time it does, I'll be able to say that while we don't have all the intricacies worked out of good money management skills, I think he gets that his money is his money- and once he learns about interest, I'll have to be sure to keep cash on hand so I won't need to borrow any of my own money to pay for field trip lunches. I'm fairly certain I won't be able to afford it.
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