What's Next

When the College Student was small, she was one of these super energetic kids who would finish an activity and, while the adults were all thinking that we were ready for a rest and maybe a restorative cup of tea, she'd ask, because she was full of energy and curiosity, ready and raring to go do another fun activity, "What's next?". For awhile the Grandpa of No even took to calling her "Ms. What's Next?".

Since the College Student has gone off to school, I've noticed certain things around the house: we have more food than usual; we are using slightly less gasoline in the cars; and I seem to have more free time.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining about that.  I do have birds to find, books to read, naps to take, and a house to declutter (someday).  I do have a list of incomplete crafty attempts, like the scrapbook I started when the College Student was the Kindergartner (and never finished- in the scrapbook, she is still a kindergartner), and a crochet blanket that might be 75% complete (I may or may not have forgotten how to make the granny squares that comprise the blanket).

But with one kid off to college and another one in 10th grade, I'm starting to wonder, "What's next?".  Retirement, eventually, but that's still some time away.  I have college-related payments to make for the next seven semesters, so I won't be traveling the world any time soon, or making any big purchases.  I am definitely aware that the Dad of No and I need to start doing some serious work on The Son of Never Stops Eating's transition plan in preparation for the day he ages out of public school and we will need to confront the reality of parenting an adult child with special needs in a society that doesn't want to recognize that this is actually a real thing. But for the first time in my adult life, there doesn't seem to be a concrete next step.  I graduated from college, found employment, got married, had two babies, and was ballet-soccer-softball-band Mom.  Now that the hands-on intensive Mom stage of life is coming to an end and I'm transitioning into more of a advisory role, I'm just not sure what exactly is next.

Part of my unease is probably due to the fact that I will shortly be turning the big 4-9, and that I'm watching the slow and painful continual descent of my own mother into the dark abyss of Alzheimer's.  I have this idea in my head that if there are things I want to do, that now would be a good time to start doing them. It's just that I was so busy doing the graduation-get a job-get married-buy a house- have babies-chase after toddlers-ballet-soccer-softball-band mom-watch them become teenagers-oh my God, they grew up! that I didn't spend that much time thinking about what's next because I honestly didn't think that "What's next?" was going to happen any time soon.

I suspect that I am not the only one asking myself this question- I've recently had conversations with friends who have recently become empty nesters or almost empty nesters that make me think I am not alone in this sense of feeling a little lost at the moment.  I'm still in the "I keep expecting the College Student to walk in the door at any minute, asking to use the car to go to Starbucks" part of adapting to having an adult child away at school.  

I know that I will figure it out, eventually.  Perhaps after I get caught up with the figurative pile of books I've been meaning to read but didn't because of ballet-soccer-softball-band, or get reacquainted with the granny square, or finally get around to culling the five thousand photos I have of broad banded water snakes and great blue herons.  For now, I'm going to take a deep breath, start making a list of projects that need doing, and see where the journey goes from here.