It's Complicated

The graduation festivities are in full swing.  This past week, I saw videos of The Teenager walk through the hallways of her elementary and middle schools, dressed in her full graduation regalia, and my allergies started to bug me.  My eyes got a little weepy.  Here was my baby, all grown up and about to leave home.  Also, seeing her in her cap and gown reminded me that I need to start writing some big checks soon.  It was an emotional experience, even witnessed remotely on my mobile device. Honestly, I'm probably going to be a wreck on Graduation Day. It's probably for the best that I don't wear makeup. 

At this milestone, it's expected that people will start offering advice, encouragement and words of motivation. A lot of it is optimistic- these kids (ok, young adults) are ready to jump right in and conquer the world.  They are intelligent, full of youthful energy and idealism, ready to take on the challenges of the 21st century, and there exists no mountain so high that the summit is beyond reach.  

However, newly minted young high school graduates and fledgling adults, here is the unvarnished truth:  At this moment, young whippersnappers, as you sit there in your cap and gown waiting for your name to be called, your life is the most uncomplicated it will likely ever be.  From this moment onward, life starts getting complicated, confusing, full of unclear and unpredictable choices. You will be faced with roads that have not two forks, but four or five or six.  Sometimes you may find yourself having to choose between choices that are all good- and sometimes all your options will be bad.  At some point along the way, you may make a disastrous choice- or three- and have to dig yourself out of a deep hole. You'll really start knowing what I'm talking about the day you have to buy your own auto insurance policy. 

Your life will be full of choices: what field of study to pursue? Do I even want to go to college now?  Where should I look for my first job? Should I start my own business? Should I get married? Is it time to buy a house? Am I ready to have kids? (there's a real game changer right there). And finally, the most befuddling question of all: What should I make for dinner that the kids will eat from ingredients I already have in the kitchen that will be ready in time to make it to soccer practice? 

When I was a little kid, I thought being an adult meant getting dressed up and going to parties, and eating little hors'd oeuvres (although I thought it was spelled orderves) and drinking fabulously colored and mysterious adults-only drinks out of fancy glassware.  It was glamorous stuff.  In real life, adulthood is like that maybe .01% of the time, unless you're famous/wealthy.  The rest of adulthood, with the exceptions of big events like getting married, having a baby, buying a house, starting a new job, or going on a dream vacation, is really rather mundane.  You wake up, go to work, cook dinner, get the oil changed in your car, pay bills, clean your house, do your laundry, take the dog to the veterinarian.  On weekends you hang out with friends, go to your kid's softball games, do the grocery shopping. 

Wow, you're saying.  This does not really sound that exciting.  You might be thinking that your senior year was stressful, and deciding what to do next was complicated, and I'm definitely not denying that it wasn't. However, standing still is not an option.  When the Teenager was in first grade, she wanted desperately to go back to kindergarten because she missed her kindergarten teacher.  I had to explain to her that there was no going back; kindergarten was over. 

The good news is that most of the complications are still ahead of you. You still have time and opportunity to avoid the bad choices and make the good ones (although you'll make a doozy or two eventually; almost everyone does).  So finish school (or learn a trade, or join the military....do something!).  Save money.  Start contributing to a retirement account (trust me, that day will come). Don't buy a lot of stuff you don't need. Travel if you can.  Read a lot of books.  Start figuring out what is important to you. Find a cause that has meaning for you. Find mentors. Develop a circle of people you trust, and be trustworthy in return.  Do what you say you are going to do.  Remember the P6 rule: Proper prior planning prevents poor performance.

Finally, own at least one nice outfit, for those glamorous parties with the orderves and the fancy drinks.  You never know what lies ahead on the roads you'll choose to take.