Shirt and Tie

This week, I realized that aliens from a distant planet have stolen my children and replaced them with almost-adults.

It can't be enough that the Teenager is doing things like buying prom gowns and registering for college orientation; the Son of Never Stops Eating is starting to do young man things like wearing nice shirts with ties and going to high school dances.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly. The Son of Never Stops Eating, he of the "soft" shirts and sweatpants, has now worn a tie in public- and even more remarkably, he did not complain about it. Not once.

This is his first year to attend the "Grand Ball"; a special needs prom for high school students held their high school peers and the community.  The kids all get dressed up in their finest, the high school cafeteria undergoes some extreme redecorating, and everyone gathers for fun, dinner and dancing.

"I don't think you can wear sweats and a t-shirt for this", I told the Son of Never Stops Eating, as I read the information sheet.  "It says here you have to wear nice pants, a button down shirt, and a tie". My brain was telling me that this requirement would be a deal-breaker; in the past, attempts at collared shirts and jeans have ended in unmitigated disaster.  It had been made abundantly clear on multiple occasions- if it wasn't soft, it wasn't happening.

"Okay", he said, after mulling it over for a minute.

"Okay what?" I replied, suspiciously.  Had he just agreed to wear a button down shirt? My mind was spinning. Was he ill? Was I about to get hit up for Legos in return for wearing a nice shirt for an evening?  Had someone taken my child and replaced it with a clone? What was going on here? What had I missed?

"Yes, I'll dress up". To seal the deal, he gave me a huge sigh and an eye-roll.

The Dad of No took him shopping; any expedition involving the purchase of a tie is definitely a Man Thing.  They returned from the store with a soft button down shirt in a lovely shade of blue and a matching tie, along with a belt.  I was assured by the Dad of No that the Son of Never Stops Eating had found the ensemble acceptable. I was still dubious about whether or not he'd actually wear it when the time came.

The evening of the dance came, and true to his word, the Son of Never Stops Eating put on his nice slacks, his button down shirt, and his tie.  We'd forgotten about dress shoes, so he had to wear his regular sneakers.  He looked sharp- and all grown up.  We took the obligatory pre-dance photos in front of the house and got in the car.

It was then that the motive for agreeing to the shirt and tie became clear. It wasn't just the dance he was willing to get dressed up for.  Apparently he had been listening all the times his father and I had told him that he couldn't go to work wearing sweatpants and t-shirts; he just wasn't ready yet.

"Mom, I could wear this to a job interview", he told me, as I drove toward the high school. "You could definitely wear this to a job interview", I affirmed.  Job interview? What was this job interview?  My brain was still processing the fact that my sensory-sensitive kid was wearing a button down shirt and a tie.  Was this the same kid who had adamantly refused the itchy Cub Scout shirt and the scratchy jeans?

"I have a list of places I want to get a job at: Target, the snow cone place, parks and rec office, the Lego store, the pet store, and being a pet sitter.  And once I get a job then I won't have to go to school anymore! And I can make money and buy a lot of Legos!".

"One more thing, Mom", he told me later, after a successful Grand Ball. "I need a pair of nice shoes.  Not tennis shoes."

"Oh, really?" I said.  "Why is that? You want to look sharp for the ladies?" He rolled his eyes at this and insisted that he did NOT have a girlfriend and that I was not to tease him about it, or -even worse- tell the Grandpa of No, who would definitely tease him about it.

"No, Mom! For my job interviews! I need real shoes!".

I'm actually not sure what happened to my child, but I think I'm okay with it.