MEMORANDUM
TO: OFFSPRING
FROM: YOUR MOTHER (Management)
SUBJECT: Christmas Wish Lists and Purchasing of Christmas Presents
1. Christmas wish lists are due to your mother on or before December 2, 2017 by close of business (4:30 PM). Failure to deliver lists by this time could possibly result in the following items being selected as your Christmas gifts: Socks, underwear, dictionaries, VHS tapes of Barney the Purple Dinosaur, and/or anything Disney Princess, or cookbooks and DVD's purchased at the local grocery store bargain table.
2. The following items cannot be funded at this time: Trips to Europe, new laptops, new cars and the Simpsons Lego Set. Management is willing to discuss a partial funding match on technology, especially technology that may be required for college academic work, although expenditure will likely not occur until after the start of calendar year 2018.
3. Requestor should insure that gift items are readily attainable, either online (preferred source is Amazon) or at a local store (Barnes and Noble, Kohl's, JC Penney, Best Buy, or locally owned shops and restaurants). Anything requiring travel beyond a 15 mile radius of the family residence will likely not be funded unless the household purchasing agent is traveling in that direction on other household business. It is acceptable to request gift cards and/or cash in lieu of items. Keep in mind that shopping is not a preferred Management activity, so anything requiring extreme shopping has a lower chance of being funded in this calendar year holiday giving cycle.
4. Management reserves the right to prioritize funding on a need over want basis. For example, a request for new pajamas may receive funding priority over a request for a new video game. Requests for books will receive strong consideration. Requests for items that require ongoing operation and maintenance (O&M) household funding will receive lower consideration (examples: toys requiring batteries, anything requiring new parts or supplies on an ongoing basis) unless requestor notes in gift request that they are willing to fund ongoing O&M themselves. Management is willing to guarantee that requestors will receive at least one wish, as long as request is reasonable and fits within budgetary constraints. Requestors may receive cash contributions toward a desired item if management deems that specified item is beyond management's current funding capabilities.
5. In addition to requesting gifts, you will also be expected to provide gifts for the other three human members of the household. The dog and the hamster are optional. When writing your own lists, be cognizant of the funding limitations of your sibling, and provide acceptable options that your sibling can consider within his or her budgetary constraints. In previous years, management has been willing to wrap these gifts for you. This year, management regrets that they will be unable to provide this service unless they receive a request for assistance at least a week before December 25, 2017.
6. Acceptable formats for Christmas wish lists include handwritten, e-mail, and typed lists printed on actual paper. If handwritten, be sure that writing is legible to management. Photos or detailed descriptions of obscure items that management may be unfamiliar with are appreciated and may facilitate purchasing of gifts. It is not necessary to address these lists to Santa Claus; we all know who Santa Claus really is.
7. As always, your cooperation is appreciated. Management looks forward to reviewing funding requests for Christmas 2017. Remember that your deadline is December 2, 2017 at 4:30 PM. Management is looking forward to a festive and enjoyable Christmas holiday season.
-signed-
Management
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